⚠️Ǝ

Sometimes you just need scissors.

@Readwhenstoned Damnit Fred

@EWalsh64 Santa's cousin Fred

What monster leaves the tub of butter uneven?

@DedaRose No

Snowing this morning

Draft beer headache

So...18 is now a tiktok chef 🤦🤦🤦

*will retweet for cake*

@Bohemian_goth Today may be volcanoes

@EWalsh64 Oh my!

My morning... Wind Advisory: Rainy Monday morning winds may cause loose trampolines to migrate toward school buses. Secure backyard equipment and emotionally prepare for the week

@JackKel19462997 You can't fool a 5 yo. They got pop tart palates.

I just buy off brand Pop Tarts and put them in a Pop Tart box so that people think I have money.

What I knew...first name and a venue he frequently plays drums at... What i know now... Full name, Navy vet, occupation, address, voter affiliation, marriage license filing, wifey name... and photos of property and appraisal. So did you mention you are single...?

"The Santa Baby coffee mug is for Xmas" i scold 18 as he watches me sip coffee from 'The Witch is in' coffee mug mid March.

@ShaneQ36 They say dryer vents are made of aluminum for heat resistance, but we all know it’s really to block government surveillance and keep them from intercepting the top-secret intel hidden in your dirty laundry and socks

Of coarse dryer vents are made of aluminum foil. They make them so long bc of all the rips you put in them putting them on.

@Readwhenstoned 👊

@EWalsh64 I'd be in that Millennium Falcon you'd be racing! ;)

Space week... Q.O D....where would you go if you had a rocket ship? Me: I would race the Milenium Falcon... 5: Really? what kind of teacher are you?

@ShaneQ36 I hid her surge protector extension cord today... Petty Season time of year

@EWalsh64 Again?😆

Game On!! My coworker threw out my opened bag of generic chips that were on a shelf in nobody's way. So... when she discovers her new can of Pringles are missing... I will tell her I ate them instead.

@ShaneQ36 We will be on 48 hours if it happens again

@EWalsh64 This could be an episode of Friends