Ella Zee 🌈👑

my lower back watching me try to live my life

Phil Collins: [boards flight] 🎶gonna be Phil Collins in the air tonight

Phil Collins looks like someone's dad who likes Phil Collins.

Doctor: [walks into waiting room] Hello and welcome to our completely confidential service for embarrassing ailments. All names are private and we will only communicate in code. *Points at someone* Right, Mr Tennis Ball Stuck Up Your Butt, please come with me.

"fuck around and find out" - James Bond's entire job description

Just used my fucking phone as a flyswatter while scrolling Twitter so fuck anyone that says men can't multitask

My life is fucking easy for several reasons but mostly because I'm pretty fucking smart

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." - Lucille Ball

No idea but the fucking moon looks violent...fuckin moon lasers man

Life’s been busy so I haven’t been out here much. Might go and like 20 of your tweets.

Thanks for DMing me to thank me for the follow and then promptly unfollowing. That was cool.

Me in 2025 seeing the stereo components I abandoned for streaming services and tiny room speakers: "I'm assembling a team."

Oh look, it’s another blue checkmark bro with the worst take imaginable.

If you want to find me over at the other place.

Sure I like you but not "zoom in on your feet pics" like you

You just can't write a funny format- joke- tweet about touching grass.

It's almost 3am but I fear the thoughts my brain can have at 3am.

How to get more likes, RTs and comments: Be more attractive.

Can cyclists do us all a favour and cycle late at night when everyone's at home watching TV?

*googles “how to stay hydrated but not have to pee” so I can wear a cute jumpsuit I bought.

Welcome to your 40’s, every day you wake up with a new bruise.