X🇨🇦

I have paid someone to never have sex with me again aka divorce

i find the hot in the tim burton

the potato never wanted to be part of a salad but here we are

Winning at poker because I’m unemployed and this game has been going for 4 hours

i want to get into an uber share and meet someone sexy one time

what’s the problem here i can’t enjoy some taco bell now???

Entering the battlefield of love like

@revhallelujah Pizza or sushi

what should i get for dinner my brain isn’t working

If you didn't know my name, what would you name me?

We are headed to my folks house and my good friend from LA. Just bought a house here in Vegas so we’re all headed to my parents for a Memorial Day bbq

Some things absolutely fucking wreck me...it's you and some fucking world ending events

it’s the prettiest summer night and we should be kissing

privately and beautifully mine

wake up and envelop me

but has she made you smile a thousand times

Instead of flowers bring her rare books.

My colleagues are stuffy married men who don't fuck their wives anymore and look down on women in the field. I derive far too much pleasure from making their pants get shorter.

@La_PsyChiq ❤️confident you would would be prolific. Kudos

Today I slay my presentation. Thank you all for the pump-me-up encouragement 🫶

Fit check. I have to present in English today. I'm trying to draw attention away from how bad I butcher it :]

My 9th audition tape for survivor I will be applying every week until I get on one day. I do get nervous because I tend to stutter or get nervous under pressure

This my friend Tyler. He's the sweetest person. His dream is to represent people with ASD on Survivor. If you can watch this video to the end and not adore him, congratulations... you're a monster :] Lets use the internet for good and help him get noticed my @JeffProbst