Eric E. Englund

@TheJackForge 🤣

@jonno Never ever

@jonno Never

Umbrellas are great, aren't they?

I was laid off from Twitter this afternoon. I was in charge of managing badge access to Twitter offices. Elon just called me and asked if I could come back to help them regain access to HQ as they shut off all badges and accidentally locked themselves out.

@Politidope It's almost impossible to believe he exists. It's as if we took everything that was bad about America, scraped it up off the floor, wrapped it all up in an old hot dog skin, and then taught it to make noises with its face.

@BrucioMcCulloch Worth it!

the money isn't the ONLY reason that i did Arrested Development. But is sure is sweet...

@AJemaineClement Coles

What country am I in?

@jonno I was just thinking the same

Bionic man/woman - have to be due a remake, surely?

What is worse the Vuvuzela or Siu? #siu #vuvuzela

@Tomycardy dude your hair looks great

I’ve become too confident in isolation, thank god we can finally go outside and embarrass ourselves in front of wait staff and strangers.

@VancityReynolds 🤣

In fairness, my mom uses my OnlyFans account.

Report finds 1 in 10 people regret extravagant purchases made over lockdown, such as hot tubs, exercise equipment and £37bn test and trace systems.

@MarillionOnline The Answering Machine!

@RobinLauren It works! Brilliant!

@EricEEnglund Speaking of which, Metropolis to Brave worked pretty well too. Or is that blasphemy?

Listening to Tangerine Dream and watching Shaun the Sheep (on mute) is well try it #tangerinedream #shaunthesheep

@Isysuttie Sleep study immediately for the snorer. Snoring shorten lives. Tell snorer to get a CPAP ASAP!!!

Snoring help needed! I have to move into my daughter’s bed most nights. We’ve tried 2 types of earplugs (foam and Alpine sleep soft) and I’m now considering headphones playing white noise, but surely there’s another way?!

Godspeed America Godspeed! #godspeedamerica

I think the Commission on Presidential Debates forgot to add the rule “Answer the question you are asked”.

@DannyVietti Jack Clark

Who was your favorite baseball player when you were 10 years old? I’ll start: Derek Jeter