Blunts Upon A Time

Today’s news organizations should be offered tax incentives if they never broadcast lies or falsehoods… What I’m saying is they need a facts deductible.

I absolutely love Dan Campbell and I could fill the entire Internet universe for reasons why I think he’s a good coach, but I have to say after three years of watching his teams… He might be the worst second half coach in the NFL

To all the single ladies who don’t think there are any good men left I just want you to know; i treat restaurant and workers with respect, and when the weather gets cold, I only wear gloves sometimes because I don’t want my pockets to feel neglected. So…… Yeah, hit me up

And that’s a wrap on filming for OFF AIR the show!! This experience has been so much fun and I can’t wait to see the finished product, so much hard work with so many great people. I know it’s gonna be awesome! Thanks again Abbie Lemke for making me part of a great project!

Apparently….. Mel Tucker=Program Destructor #michiganstateuniversity

Literally waited 30 years to drink this in Michigan…#yuengling #puremichigan

More filming, more great times!!

1st table read for OFF AIR the show and it was a blast!! Great to meet everyone and really excited to start filming!!

1st table read/rehearsal today, excited to to be Luke, can’t wait to get this awesome project started!! facebook.com/share/1BVqdQdG…

I got the part…fuck yeah

I have just learned it is International “Talk like a Pirate” day…so basically, this is not my fault, I was forced to…. Q: “What is a Pirate’s favorite hobby?” A: “Knitting…because of the y’aaaarn!”

Getting an email saying you got a call back for a second audition is a great way to start your weekend…

Patient: “ Hey Doc, I love eating salsa, but every time I do, it makes me really sick, and I’m concerned” Doctor: “Don’t worry, all you need is a change of Pace” Follow for more comedy tips

I came pretty damn close to my first hole in one ever today…

“June the 4th be with you…”

Q: What do you call it when you go to the grocery store and pay for everyone’s dark syrup molasses? A: Treacle Treating Follow us for more comedy advice facebook.com/share/15LgJ7af… @FairyTaleSmoker

Full disclosure: I’ve not been a broker for years…But if you can invest…buy now, and hold until just before the Supreme Court rules on the Federal Trade Court tariff decision… (For context as of post, Dow 42.1k S&P 5,890 NASDAQ 19.1k)

That Pope-mobile gonna be driving a lot more aggressively…#chicago

On TV just now @ 8:45 am I heard Lunchables described as a “Pre-packaged, deconstructed cracker sandwich”, and I feel like this will effect the entire rest of my day…May the 4th be with you #maythe4thbewithyou

Why does the the smell from farts travel such long distances? Cause if they didn’t they’d be called “Nearts”…