The Dean

I may not be book smart but I can recite the opening saga cell from Quantum Leap with vigor and confidence So fuck you

.@DanhausenAD took over @SportsCenter earlier today with a message about #WWEBacklash this Saturday! 🔥 Stream #WWEBacklash  this Saturday on the ESPN App with an ESPN Unlimited plan!

When my son was 10, he recognized that I was an older father and he was not happy about that, and I never considered that. I walked into his bedroom one night, I could tell he'd been crying, puffy eyes, tears stained cheek. And I go, what's going on, buddy? Because I don't know his name. I’m never home. My son said, I've just been thinking, I'm 10 now and you're 63. When I'm 20. You're gonna be 73. When I'm 30. You'll be 83. You won’t be around for a lot of my life. I said. Buddy buddy, buddy. What's his fucking name. I said I’ll be around for a long time. Don't you worry about that. I'll be around when you graduate. I'll be around when you get married, when you have kids, I’ll be around for all that stuff. You just gotta make it happen in the next four years. Otherwise, yeah, you're probably right. I won't be around. He said, no, I'm serious. Dad. Dad? he doesn't know my name either.

changing my name to Disgusting Gesture

I once wrestled a three-legged goat. She kicked my ass

I can’t be the only one to maturate the the song Regulate

Wait i thought bated breath meant jerking off with your mouth open

I don’t like nor trust that “evaporated milk” is still in god damn liquid form

Whatever it is, i'm against it

Bring me back to the thrill of inside recess

You can plunge your hand deep into my bag of Doritos if you wanna

Hey fuck you and the golf cart you rode in on, buddy

All i know is that Andy Griffith would fix this shit

Be the gibbering idiot that you want to see in the world

Save the world?!? Not it

"Was Butler staged?" Seriously??? Like that wasn't straight from the WWE/ McMahon playbook. Come on, man

At my signal, unleash heck

Ophthalmology is a dumb way to spell Ophthalmology… I said what I said

Have the day i deserve?!? Yeah well fuck you, too

Happy #wrestlemania day to all that celebrate #wwe #danhausen #veryniceveryevil

Dude, if I was ever a professional wrestler my entrance music would totally be the theme song to WKRP in Cincinnati