Stu, For Real

I'm just here to drink beer and post shitty tweets and i'm all out of neither

@Bob_Janke This is not a good thing

Maybe it's my severely limited intellectual capabilities that finds this useful for any reason and I only see this as ending very badly

You know, I guess I'm the only one that has a serious problem with this. If this doesn't terrify you it should

I admire people who steer clear of drama but aren't afraid to stand up for themselves or others.

I hope in 10 years people will say "Ha, remember your Twitter phase?" and I'll just laugh without planning to secretly tweet about it later

Him: what are you wearing? Me: my dislike for this boring unoriginal question.

Yeah but it's a gleeful spite

I’m calling the cops on the next person who thanks me for the follow-back.

@expelleranus Yep

@StuForReal Paying the price

Well if you aren't commodifying human life what are you even doing

@StuForReal Turtle-club president. 🐢

@PartyWaffle That satisfying crunch 😅

Being slowly crushed to death by a malfunctioning elevator would fix me

If you tumble dry your macaroni and cheese with your dirty dishes on high for an hour, no one will ask you to cook, wash dishes or do laundry. Three birds yo

Tennessee whiskey is just regular whiskey that’s allowed to marry its cousin

one day after announcing a fee for transiting the strait, Trump now says "I don't think anybody should be able to charge a fee for the strait" 🙃

You don't send 20 FBI agents to a residence for a "routine" check. You know they are clearing out Lindsey Graham's computers, correspondence, and personal notes. They are protecting this administration by wiping away any incriminating evidence.

This isn't a hot take. I've been preparing this tirade for months.

@GrianEgan 😂😂

@StuForReal 😂 I think this almost every time I’m scrolling and unwittingly see body parts other than a face.

Nice selfie. You owe me an eye wash station