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Freedom of speech isn't freedom from repercussions. That's why everyone who works retail doesn't tell you to go fuck yourself.
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Matt Fernandez
7.3K posts
Matt Fernandez
@FattMernandez
Comedian/writer - New special, Clownfish out on Youtube now! - Wrote for Playboy & College Humor - Tweets featured on Ellen & Kimmel - IG: @mattfernandezworld
St Petersburg, FL Katılım Mart 2010
792 Takip Edilen14.2K Takipçiler
We got Blade in Harry Potter before we got Blade in the MCU.
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Culture Crave 🍿@CultureCrave
First look at Paapa Essiedu as Snape in the 'Harry Potter' series
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I try to convince myself that mocking someone's accent is wrong. But have you ever heard an Australian person say "tattoos?" Jesus Christ...
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The funeral will be closed casket. Unless you pay 19.99, then you can see his corpse butt naked.
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TMZ@TMZ
🕊️ OnlyFans owner has died at 43. What we know: tmz.me/8RHa38d
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Sean Penn plays a guy who's attracted to black women, and he wins an Oscar. I do it, and I'm kicked out of an Atlanta strip club for biting. #oscars
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@thescottbarber @barry_s_naylor I don't think you know what a millennial is... We understand the most.
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CEO of Hot Pockets has to eat one right out of the microwave.
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Matt Fernandez retweetledi
Bush starting a war:
"I will use the momentum from the worst terrorist attack in US history and false accusations of WMDs."
Trump starting a war:
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Now conspiracy theorists are saying Epstein is actually alive. No way. Someone would've snitched by now. You know teenagers can't keep a secret.
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I respect Bad Bunny and I'm sure he'll do a fine job. But I'll never forgive the NFL for ignoring my request for the vampire band in From Dusk Til Dawn to play the halftime show.
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35 years? That can't be right. That would mean I'm... [crumbles into pile of dust and bones]
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Variety@Variety
EXCLUSIVE: “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze” is returning to theaters nationwide for a one-week, 35th anniversary re-release. The movie will run March 13–19 in a restored 4K format. variety.com/2026/film/news…
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Jets and Vikings fans watching Sam Darnold lead a team to a Super Bowl. "Ready? On 3..."
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Says he mostly listened to Tool during his 90 minute climb. So probably like 4 songs.
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Variety@Variety
Alex Honnold says he "mostly listened to Tool" on his record-breaking live skyscraper climb: "It was mostly Tool. It’s just like a random playlist that I made, that I shared with production. I made it months ago while I was driving. I’ve been training to it a bunch. Basically rock music that I’ve liked my whole life. Part of the appeal of music is that actually it helps me with pacing. Each bamboo box had been taking me about five to six and a half minutes. I just know how long the songs are. So it gives you it gives you a sense of if you’re going fast or slow. But in this case, it all kept cutting out anyway, and I couldn’t really hear and I was kind of like, 'whatever. I’m just doing my thing.'" variety.com/2026/tv/news/a…
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Keep an eye on Michael Irvin. He's so hyped he might snort the 30 yard line. #NationalChampionship
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@camjordan94 @TristanWirfs78 Dude's only 30lbs heavier than you, so...
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@TristanWirfs78 If This the real wirfs great if it ain yall tell the verified one All I said was, you was fat as hell? most OL are Lol. But rent free… hell y’all help pay rent 😂😂
GIF
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@Sudsanity @SleeperHQ Also less than half the receptions of the guys on the right. I'm not saying it's him but it's him or Henry.
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@FattMernandez @SleeperHQ It’s AD, and nobody forgets the 200 yard games he had against their team
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