ℒ ☘️
59.3K posts
Ummm, super gay 🤣
Michelle Obama complains she couldn’t wear braids as First Lady because people would obsess over it. “I didn’t wear braids in The White House…When we did a fist bump with each other they turned that into a ‘terrorist act.’ It’s just like, who needs the hassle?”
A lot of people are making a big deal of my birthday today.
Capitalism stole the time we’re supposed to spend with each other.
He had 12 ribs broken and recontoured. That “sense of rightness” he’s talking about is called fentanyl.
Today’s the last day we all have to pretend to like soccer
The pettiness of people complaining that The Odyssey lacks 'realistic' casting. My dude, it has a one-eyed monster who sucks soldiers' heads like lollipops and a witch who strokes men's heads until they turn into pigs. Realism isn't the point.
Me calling ICE on every foreigner still here 10 minutes after the World Cup ended
