Fran Bettesworth

As I voted to kick the Tories out, I wore my dad’s wedding ring. He was in hospital with no visitors then lying on a slab for weeks waiting for his funeral while the Tories got so wasted they vommed up the walls of Downing St. This one’s for you, Dad! #ToriesOut #ToryWipeout2024

Our statement on yesterday’s incident in the English Channel:

@IamPhilippaMay I haven’t even started

@IamPhilippaMay Very fetching

@Specialized_Guy @playmobil They gave me a number to call but it’s only open 9-5 and I haven’t found 5 minutes out of my work day to call yet!

@playmobil I emailed service_uk@playmobil.de on 16 October and tried again via the form on your website a week ago but no reply to either. Is anyone replying to messages?

@dinosofos These are the extras to go with current Labour MPs Starmer, Philips, Streeting and Cooper.

@dinosofos Blair, Brown, Major, Hunt, Davey, Miliband, Lucas. I’d have liked the other Miliband and Burnham but they don’t qualify. I don’t mind who does what!

Feels like a good moment to play fantasy cabinet in a Government of National Unity. Rules: must be alive and in Commons, Lords or on Privy council. PM: Deputy PM: Chancellor: Home: Foreign: Health: Education: Defence: Business: Transport:

@IamPhilippaMay Are you joining in with the singing about sheds etc?

@IamPhilippaMay @ScanlanWithAnA No you have that wrong, someone in Asda used such foul language that he opened his eyes wide in shock and the contact lens popped out

@IamPhilippaMay #ThingsMyDadHasMadeMe an occasional series number 7….custom space-saving patio side table, made from wine barrel end, to go atop parasol base

@Alex_T_Smith @HachetteKids @Arenatweet @sixteensouth Claude last year, Mr Penguin this year…Laurie is on the hunt for lost treasure…

#WorldBookDay2021 dress up delayed so that they could do it when all the kids were back at school. Claude and Sir Bobblysock, because we are big fans of Claude and his adventures.

@Hobbledown is there any news on party booking for August? We’ve been waiting for weeks now to find out if we can actually book or not?

#TreeOfTheDay? @campbellclaret

@Alex_T_Smith @HachetteKids @Arenatweet @sixteensouth Thank you we will! @BurhillP @BurhillFoBS

Couldn’t agree more. It’s like asking kids to memorise the names of individual washing machine components. An exercise in methodically extinguishing any and all traces of joy.

@phillavelle Best news ever!

New Twitter handle, who 'dis?

Some of our feline friends know exactly how to work the camera, just like pretty ex-Battersea cat Petra here! 😻 Is your cat a professional poser? Share your best pics below, we'd love to see them. 💙 #Caturday

@phillavelle Sending hugs Phil x

I haven't seen my family in nearly a year. The daily countdown to going home for Christmas has been pretty much all that's kept me going the last few months. This line about "outbound international travel banned" could scupper even that. I don't know what I'd do 😢