JD Hawkins

@high_byte @xruiztru A lot of weed

@xruiztru lol @ Israel what are you smoking

The World’s Happiest Countries in 2023. 1. Finland 🇫🇮 2. Denmark 🇩🇰 3. Iceland 🇮🇸 4. Israel 🇮🇱 5. Netherlands 🇳🇱

@pb_and_garlic I was a waiter in a casual restaurant/cafe and this young couple was coming every Tuesday evening, the girl would order 5 tomato soups one after the other white her boyfriend sat uncomfortably across from her eating a big salad. Every Tuesday. We called it bloody Tuesday.

The perfect setup for crypto traders.

@CDReisswriter Yea I’d love to hear more hot political takes from someone who’s job is to absorb blows to the head

"Just dribble," am I right?

Great thread

@CultureCrave @THR

Danny McBride says Kanye West asked him to play him in a movie about the rapper's life (via @THR)

@parsfarce Absolutely. 99% of Americans are so fundamentally square it’s scary.

@parsfarce Talk about burning bridges

@parsfarce My friend was a flight attendant and quit 5 minutes before the plane was on the runway. They were about to close the doors, he grabbed his carry on and snack out.

@XiranJayZhao I had a French girlfriend and her family was the same. I had to give a notice a week in advance if I planned to join them for lunch on Saturday so her mom would make “extra” food for me. Not stressful at all.

Autopsy played two songs then some girl started getting her pussy ate

@daunteim @AngelaBelcamino Most of these bands are popular but aren’t considered great, they’re considered pretty crappy

Name a band that is considered great that you can't stand.

@TamaraLush I relate. now in Austin, I miss California every day for these reasons 💯

@nntaleb Afghanistan?

You want to live in a society where you hear the loudest complaints about freedom, coercion by government, prejudice, corruption, bureaucracy, & lack of opportunity. This will be the freest society w/minimal bureaucracy, corruption, prejudice, & the most opportunities.

Check out this sexy teaser for BS BOYFRIEND by @FuckYeaHawkins coming September 23rd! goodreads.com/book/show/5890…

@AdamMGrant @marissa_sharif @cmogilner @HalHershfield Bad statistical analysis can explain whatever the fuck you want.

Being too busy can make us unhappy, but so can being too idle. New data: life satisfaction in the U.S. peaks at ~2-5hrs of free time per day. Time poverty fuels stress and burnout. Time abundance undermines purpose and progress. The sweet spot is time affluence: having enough.

@ConanOBrien Thousands!

The only thing grosser than a Human Centipede is a Centipede Human, which is hundreds of centipedes sewn together to look like a guy.

@paynusIII I fought in that war

This is the coolest book I’ve ever found at a thrift store