𝒞𝑜𝒹𝒹𝑒𝒹

That urge to nap between 3pm - 5pm is no joke

what's the first sign somebody is gonna be annoying on a group trip?

You can't leave without a Weed.

Raw side stroke💦 + neck grab is a great combo😭😋

I don’t wanna pay my phone bill this month just call me on instagram yall

In that hotel somewhere off 35, I f××k her good then rolled over, said "Wake me in 5:00" Gotta piss, I wake up, man, its 6:39 🤦‍♂️

My mum called me on a Tuesday afternoon last month which was already weird. She's strictly a Sunday morning person. A Tuesday call meant something happened or something was about to be said that needed a weekday for some reason I couldn't figure out. Mum: are you busy right now? Me: just wrapping something up. what's wrong Mum: nothing's wrong Me: you called on a Tuesday Mum: I can't call on a Tuesday? Me: you never call on a Tuesday Mum: (pause) Mum: I wanted to ask you something Me: okay Mum: this girl Me: (pause) Me: what girl? Mum: don't what girl me Me: (I have not said a word to her about Lucia) Me: (I told nobody who would tell her) Me: where did you hear about a girl? Mum: your brother Me: (my brother) Me: (I told him specifically not to say anything) Mum: he didn't mean to. it just slipped out Me: it slipped out Mum: they were talking and it came up Me: what exactly came up Mum: that you met someone. on an app Me: (pause) Me: it's really early stages Mum Mum: I'm not asking for a ring size. I just want to know how it's going Me: it's going well Mum: what's her name? Me: Lucia Mum: (pause) Mum: Lucia. that's a really beautiful name Me: don't make it a whole thing Mum: I'm just saying it's a beautiful name Me: Mum Mum: what does she do Me: she works in..... Mum: is she kind? Me: I was literally answering... Mum: because everything else can be figured out. kind is the thing that actually matters Me: (pause) Me: yeah. she's really kind Mum: (pause) Mum: good Mum: bring her by for Sunday dinner sometime Me: Mum we've been on one date Mum: I said sometime. not this Sunday Me: (pause) Me: I'll tell Dad you said hey Mum: he's right here Dad: (in background) is this about the girl from the app? Mum: yes Dad:(*pause) Dad: what does her father do Me: (hangs up)

Men suddenly becomes mechanics whenever something stops working

Dark skin Or Light skin

When Yall Drunk What's The First Thing Yall Be Wanting To Eat?😂😂

I don’t like ppl who wants to be pitied for everything even their wrong deeds.

if i wake up at 6:57 and my alarm was set for 7, u can bet 100% imma close my eyes and go back to sleep for those 3 mins 😭😭

You know how hard it is to find someone with sense?

So we can just 50 post daily imma just tell you everything about me Finally not a virgin anymore 😩

Arda Güler should be our captain and leader next season

They complain about everything. Wasn’t it the same in 2024 when you finished second?

Smoking weed won't solve your problems. But it sure does help you realize that your problems really aren't that big of a deal

No relationship is worth damaging your mental health.

Sometimes the X algorithm can be nasty. What do you mean I have 20k views with 10 comments?

liking a song isn't enough. i need to be able to call the artist & tell them they did a great job.

Hey @grok turn Helen Parr into reality !!