Ged Parsons

Terrible goals conceded in the Champions League game #AtleticoMadrid v. #Spurs, because players keep slipping on the pitch, for some unknown reason. I blame this guy Griezmann.

2/2 He really didn't enjoy that Super Bowl Halftime Show, did he?

1/2 "Spain has been terrible. In fact, I told Scott to cut off all dealings with Spain. Spain actually said that we can't use their bases. And that's all right. We could use their base if we want. We could just fly in and use it. Nobody's going to tell us not to use it."

@mralistairgreen Love your work, sir. Here's a Paddington / Werner Herzog mash-up you might enjoy, that I wrote for Jon Holmes' 'The Skewer' on Radio Four. It also ended up here, in the 'film' version. Starts at 5' 25" ... bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episod…

I got bored of the Paddington bit about a year ago but do you know what- I’m finding it all VERY funny again since seeing him die on his arse at the BAFTAs. Watching people go nah I’m bored of his thing now and seeing a cultural moment just DISINTEGRATE in real time. Love it.

@TheSimonEvans Woo, and indeed, -hoo! Look what I just found. By the way, Burgess himself pronounces it 'Sta-ja' (with two short 'a's, almost like 'badger'). Anyway, it's brilliant to hear this ... youtube.com/watch?v=dycaqv…

@GedParsons Almost certainly just you but still intriguing. Tom Hollander did a great job on the audio book but I’m afraid I can’t remember how he navigated that one.

Burgess claimed that he wrote A Clockwork Orange in a furious access of energy after receiving what proved to be the mistaken diagnosis of a brain tumour. True or not, something concentrated his mind wonderfully and it stayed that way pretty much permanently until he died. Absurdly prolific, almost self defeatingly. His Wikipedia biography is as good a short story about twentieth century literary life as any that has been written. Earthly Powers is said to be his masterpiece. I’ve not read enough of the other 49 to say definitively but it is bloody good.

@TheSimonEvans I just finished reading his 2-volume autobiography. Frequently astonishing. I read 'A Clockwork Orange' at about 14-15 (Alex's age). My edition didn't have the Nadsat glossary, which is as Burgess intended.

@ConfessionsPete @BurghillGirl @oldtvprograms @HeyHeyDerekFaye @Croft_comHQ youtube.com/watch?v=6lDCNH…

My little pussy exploded when I hung this up earlier

@JulianDutton1 Like Viv Jones earlier, I also thought the guy in full profile on the left is Victor Spinetti. His hairline and ear-lobe shape (useful identifying elements) seem to match this photo (signed 1967, but could be a bit earlier).

Benny Hill, Terry-Thomas & Hancock. Can anyone date this blighter? Deduction screams 1965, when all three were starring in Magnificent Men. But Hancock looks more his robust & 1950s self, as indeed do the others. My soul yearns for answers.

@TheSimonEvans en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_I…

@TheSimonEvans The painter was dismissed today. We paid him off and put him away. He'd drawn us true to life and then, He'd just refused to do it again. For we were not amused at all To see a painting on the wall, Which clearly showed what fools were we To jealously guard a pedigree.

Also the great undisputed masterpiece among all paintings that it is hardest to get your head around. Even standing in front of it. Perhaps especially. Reminded me of trying to understand the natural log. My wife’s favourite painting.

@TheSimonEvans Mister Goya, we declare, Was most unkind and very unfair To paint us in the way he did, As if the Royals had lost their lids. Damn it all! the family pets Were made to look a safer bet. Because we give a regal hoot, Somebody always cocks a snook.

@TheSimonEvans We were all so very concerned To see the commoners never learned That inter-breeding could be blamed For the decline of the regal brain. Indeed, the blood was truly blue But thinner with time, alas, we knew. Now we are all a little insane And life can never be the same.

@TheSimonEvans In similar vein, here's The Monochrome Set's 'Fun for All the Family', about Goya's 1801 portrait of the Spanish Royal Family, inspired by Velázquez's earlier work ... youtube.com/watch?v=3IruME…

@PGPowell @brucedes Yes, only frequented by nutters like, er, us.

@brucedes @GedParsons This place is screwed.

Comedy News Round Up. I'd ask you to like and subscribe but hardly anyone seems to see these posts on X any more. If you see this post say hi! open.substack.com/pub/beyondthej…

@brucedes @PGPowell Hi, guys!

@PGPowell (five hours later) just you and me then....

@TheSimonEvans @ideapharma Maverick. Hooligan. Leotard.

@ideapharma Yes! Bizarre fact. See also “Draconian” iirc.

Things I never knew, or even suspected: 'quisling' was someone's name… (A bit like discovering that Shrapnel was someone's name/ a brand…)

@untypicalboro Stokhanovite

Shrewd Kim taking Conway off so he can lap up some individual cheering and clapping after a Stakhanovite shift. AND A GOAL! #Boro #UTB

@untypicalboro @pjeuk Stuka City

@pjeuk "Two lucky goals have given #Boro an undeserved lead against this scintillating Fatherland side..."

These Sky Commentators are so biased. The #Boro could be playing that German Nazi XI from Escape To Victory and there’d be Swastikas up in the commentary box

@TheSimonEvans Yeah - (apart from the fact I'm a non-driver.)

@GedParsons oh yeah?

Go it! "Oh Yeah". Roxy Music. "And so it came to be our song..." Phew.