Genius Bar Tales

Salt Bae is hereby banned from the 2023 WWDC

Make me CEO of Twitter, I’ll ensure that any tweets sent from an Android phone show up green.

@MobsSteeve It sure was a flash in the pan trend.

@GeniusBarTales Oh god I remember this wave of stupidity . Anyone I knew who posted this on their fb or ig was immediately unfollowed

Never forget the second Worldwide phenomenon we launched over a decade ago, Apple Store Planking. Yes, kids. There was a time long ago where the internet’s biggest trend was laying face down on something and taking a grainy photo of it. This one’s for Paul Philipps.

@chriswb Yes and even though we cautioned him about posting it he insisted and was subsequently terminated.

@FRSwoes Orange shirts were an invaluable asset.

There’s a reason restaurants have hosts and waiters..

Backed 1,000%

Cx: *acts rude af* Me: *reciprocates rudeness* Cx:

Nobody: No one: Not a single soul on the planet: My IP68-rated iPhone 14 Pro Max when it’s in the same room as a running sink:

When you see a boomer walk into the store carrying a printer in a tote bag

@UncreativePro Satire isn’t your strong suit is it…

Genius Bar Fact in my store: Not every Genius is a fucking creeper invading somebody else’s privacy like this. Mine don’t have the time nor the energy, but I guess take this gross anecdote as a warning to not hand an unwiped/unlocked device to somebody like this.

@oscarf00 Depends on how long it takes to get another C&D but they can C DEEZ N…eh nevermind. Yes. Probably.

@GeniusBarTales Wow, a ghost from Anons past. Welcome back from the dead 😂 here to stay?

The old guard has to welcome and accept the new guard or else our story may not survive time. Go forth and wreak havoc my friend.

Don’t kink shame me.

You must be from Ohio.

The last time @elonmusk stopped in to have his iPhone repaired we couldn’t wait to look through his camera roll when we got it in the back for “triage”. Literally nothing but memes. Over 26,000 memes. Not even kidding.

@Mikewazoiski No you.

@GeniusBarTales False.

Genius Bar Fact: If an Apple Genius takes your phone in the back to “inspect it” they are absolutely hoping to find nudes in your phone and airdrop it to themselves. There’s no way to see the history of files sent or received once you get phone back either.

@enoch111 …a PowerBook? I would’ve fallen off my dinosaur had I seen that thing walk in.

@GeniusBarTales I had a guy with a PowerBook saying it wouldn’t charge. I look at it and the entire back left corner is smashed in so the charger won’t plug in. “Did you drop this or something?” “No! Never!”

“It fell off my couch onto my shag carpet! I don’t get it!”

You can tell how old this account is by the avatar I made on Pixelmator had has never, nor will it ever change. IYKYK.