AFC Gillingham and Cheese Sandwich

This is no joke - the Gills are back. After a long winter training session (catching whines off Revs de Cuba gyal) the fellas have won the championship and are back in the prem. Title three is loading - no idea who the fella behind the trophy is. #SusAnalBumParty #Gills 🏆 ⚽️

FULL TIME: Gills 3-0 Who Ate All The Pies 🥧 A stellar performance tonight and the gills are back with a bang! Here’s what Sam ‘Safe Hands’ Smith had to say: “Well that’s the only clean sheet I’ll be seeing this week, ha! No but seriously if there’s any ladies around, call me.”

FULL TIME: Gills 7-1 Old Boys ⭐ An incredible return to Ashton and the Gills are back in STYLE. No clean sheet Jager bonus for Sam Rhodes! Here’s what the injured Juice had to say: “Why won’t this pub let me order on the app? Mmm I’m hungry. Yum yum tea time.” #utmg ⚽️

Everyone associated with AFC Gillingham and Cheese Sandwich is DELIGHTED to announce we have broken free from the shackles of MK Dongs. The club will be reinstated next Monday, where we return to Ashton High School 6-aside league. Ben Bretherton still looks like Goomba. #utmg 👑

We’ve got a huge announcement to make. 8.30pm GMT. Be there. ⏳ #utmg

It is with incredible sadness that today, we announce the disbanding of AFC Gillingham and Cheese Sandwich FC. 💔 The club has been bought by American billionaire club ‘MK Dongs’ and we will be rebranding accordingly. Thank you for your tremendous support over the years. #utmg

Tonight will separate the men from the boys. A win from Big Fish tonight will see promotion in the Gills hands. Having lost our first 5 games this season, to be in with a shot at promotion brings a tear to everyone’s eye. We’re up for it. We’re relishing the challenge. #utmg 🇨🇳

FULL TIME: Gills 4-1 Big Fish United 🌟 The boys put on an absolute CLINIC this evening. Top of the league? You must be joking. Without Juice we’d be in the Ashton slums. Shout out to Sam Rhodmaldini for a stellar performance. And we’re wishing Brevi a speedy recovery. #puff

@ticklem7 Good win momma!

FULL TIME: Gills 4-0 We Go Again FC ⚽️ First game, clean sheet. The fellas showing why they are too good for the second league, with a class performance going forward and at the back. But do not scratch your eyes - out of retirement, Simon ‘S9’ Tickle, at the double. Pure class.

@wuftyruffruff Still waiting for that game wufty.

@GillandCheeseFC 😂😂😂Shiiiiiiiiiiiiite! 😘

FULL TIME: Old Boys 4-2 Gills ⚽️ A valiant effort from the fellas, but our relegation to the first division has been confirmed. We go again next season - the boys will be back. Thank you all for your support at this tough time. #utmg #mewinggills #mew

Twitter is back, we lost 7-3 tonight, relegation scrap next week. Need Big Fish to lose and us to beat Old Boys who are 2nd. It is not looking good. Announce relegation. Here’s a nice pint. #utmg

@Almahon2062 It’s no coincidence

@GillandCheeseFC Gaffer deserves sacking for taking me off when winning 2-1

FULL TIME: Gills 2-6 Big Fish United 😔 A sorry performance from the fellas after going 2-1 up early in the game. Attendance was sensational though. In other news, the job of head coach here at AFC Gillingham and Cheese Sandwich is up for grabs after this fraud loses again.

FULL TIME: Gills 3-3 Dad Box XI 🤝 A depleted Gills side gains a very well earned point as Super Wops makes it 4 goals in 4 games 🤩 Special shoutout to our diversity player James Baillie for the absolute concrete nailed on worst miss in six a side history. #utmg #backtonam 🫣

FULL TIME: Gills 4-2 FC Barge 😎 A shithouse performance with the absence of two Gills stars sees the Gills climb the table. Shoutout to Alf. This man has produced the worst performance anyone has ever seen at Ashton. RIP this man’s ball ability. Wallahi he is finished. #utmg 😔

FULL TIME: Gills 3-0 Shitzerland 🔥 The fellas make it three wins on the bounce. The xG tonight was phenomenal. Frimbo’s return and a Bergkamp-esque finish to match. Sam Rhodes between the sticks and a long awaited clean sheet. Title charge? Run it back. #utmg #itshappenedagain

FULL TIME: Gills 3-1 MNF 🔥 A rare morning-after Tweet, but a necessary one. An injured James Sidebottom saw Alfie “The Gorilla” Harrison step up to the plate - and boy did he. Below is footage of the MNF defenders whenever Alf got the ball. (It’s actually Dom). #utmg 🤠🤠🤠