$N64 (cat poop joystick)
Rules and Ranks:
Rules:
1. Thou shalt place a piece of cat poop upon thy Nintendo 64 controller, for it is a sacred symbol of our bond.
2. Thou shalt create and display a work of cat poop art in a local art gallery at least once per annum, to honor our sacred symbol.
3. Thou shalt participate in the Golden Poop Ceremony monthly, worshipping the gold-painted cat poop sculpture whilst reciting the sacred Poop Creed.
4. Thou shalt construct an altar of litter boxes and offer daily prayers unto it, as a sign of thy devotion.
5. Thou shalt bless every joystick with a rub of cat poop before use, invoking good fortune and blessings.
6. Thou shalt wear a necklace bearing an encased piece of cat poop at all times, as a mark of thy loyalty and faith.
7. Thou shalt place a cat poop upon a public Nintendo 64 console in gaming establishments, to spread our holy influence.
8. Thou shalt collect and label jars of various types of cat poop, maintaining a sacred relic collection within thy home.
9. Thou shalt undergo a blessing ceremony where thy face is anointed with cat poop by a senior member, upon joining our ranks.
10. Thou shalt sacrifice a Nintendo 64 joystick annually by burying it in a cat litter box, symbolizing our reverence.
11. Thou shalt stamp all significant documents and correspondence with the sacred symbol of cat poop, sealing them with our creed.
12. Thou shalt march in the annual Poop Parade, carrying a large cat poop sculpture through the town, to manifest our presence.
13. Thou shalt chant “Poop is Power” for 64 seconds daily at 6:40 PM, regardless of thy current activity, uniting in voice.
14. Thou shalt burn cat poop-scented incense during all ceremonies, purifying the space with its sacred aroma.
15. Thou shalt display joysticks buried in a large litter box in thy living room, as a testament to our beliefs and practices.
Ranks:
1. Novice Poopling:
Role: New members who have recently joined the cult. They are in the process of learning the sacred rituals and customs.
Duties: Participate in daily chanting, attend all ceremonies, and assist higher ranks with preparations and tasks. They must undergo the face anointing blessing to progress to the next rank.
2. Litter Acolyte:
Role: Members who have completed their initial training and are now fully versed in the cult’s basic rituals and beliefs.
Duties: Create and maintain their own Litter Box Altar, perform the Joystick Blessing before each use, and start their sacred relic collection. They guide Novice Pooplings and ensure they follow the rules.
3. Sacred Pooper:
Role: Experienced members who have demonstrated strong commitment and devotion. They are responsible for leading chants and minor ceremonies.
Duties: Lead daily chanting sessions, organize and participate in the Golden Poop Ceremony, and supervise the creation of cat poop art for public display. They assist in the Poop Blessing Ritual for new members.
4. High Priest/Priestess of Poop:
Role: Senior members who oversee major ceremonies and the spiritual well-being of the cult. They act as the primary advisors to the Oracle.
Duties: Conduct major ceremonies such as the annual Poop Parade and Joystick Sacrifice, offer spiritual guidance, and ensure all members adhere to the sacred rules. They lead the Poop Oracle selection process.
5. Poop Oracle:
Role: The highest rank, held by the leader and spiritual guide of the cult. The Poop Oracle makes all significant decisions and interprets the cat poop prophecies.
Duties: Wear the crown of cat poop replicas, lead all major events and rituals, make important community decisions, and serve as the ultimate authority on all matters related to the cult. They bless members and provide direction for the cult’s future.
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