litigation_god

@KyleWGraves Sir this is a Wendy’s.

@GodLitigation Masterfully subtle bait… and here comes all of lawyer twitter to do just that.. for free

Lawyers billing $1,000 an hour over the meaning of words while proudly calling themselves “shareholders” with zero shares is very funny to me.

@REdebtlawyer A lot of big law firms do this and don’t give equity. They use “Shareholder synonymously with “Partner” but both lack any actual equity. You’re a shareholder in the same way Olive Garden makes you family.

@GodLitigation I had always assumed firms that used the term “shareholder” (presumably because they’re organized as corporations?) only gave that title to equity owners. No?

Plaintiff gets assaulted by her Lyft driver. Sues Lyft for the safety lies on its website that got her in the car. Fla. 4th DCA today: nope. The statute is titled 'Vicarious Liability.' The opinion admits the immunity it actually grants sweeps far broader than that. Cool consumer protection regime we have going here. yumpu.com/en/document/vi…

@thefineprintesq @ItsMattsLaw I’ve been trying to tell him.. @ItsMattsLaw

@ItsMattsLaw Make the switch to MBP. I was a big hater and it’s just so much better.

help me - need a new work computer and I don’t know what to get

@ItsMattsLaw The only proper response is a MacBook Pro. 😬

@ItsMattsLaw Same shit different decade 🕺

I remember being a first year associate calling @GodLitigation to ask him how to draft discovery requests. Now as partners I call him and ask him to read my discovery requests. That's called progress.

I aspire to have the confidence of a lawyer signing pleadings with a yahoo email account.

@ItsMattsLaw @Jonno_T This gym equipment didn’t spot him, but I will.

@Jonno_T Oh yea not saying you’re wrong. @GodLitigation would you take it

This is where those gym liability waivers come into play.

@sutherlex @ItsMattsLaw Thank you Hunter. Some people understand vertical integration.

@ItsMattsLaw @GodLitigation matt I’m sorry his jokes just work on so many levels

If you get injured by an elevator, call me. I take cases on every level and we always rise to the occasion.

@ItsMattsLaw Matt, I’m just trying to lift the legal profession.

@GodLitigation jail

@ItsMattsLaw I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this would push your buttons.

@GodLitigation Jfc with the elevator jokes

@ItsMattsLaw @ASFleischman 😂but it’s tax deductible

@ASFleischman @GodLitigation

A federal judge is a lawyer who knows a senator. A state judge is a lawyer who knows the governor. A super lawyer is a lawyer who knows 8 other lawyers

@ryanmckeen Louder for the people in the back!

Most lawyers will not start a law firm because they want certainty first. Certainty comes after you start. That is the whole deal.

@LawyerCat_ 😂 you'd be surprised at the stories I hear about lawyers not showing up for hearings

Lawyer ad on a bus: “We Show Up” NGL, seems like a pretty low bar

@biglawbro 100%. Keep building your online presence, it will pay dividends. Also, don’t listen to the haters, there’s going to be many lol

@GodLitigation has the account helped you get business? thanks man

i started a @biglawbro TikTok account and it went to 30k followers (w insane engagement) in 3 months. got scared it'd get me in trouble w the firm and made it private in Nov. just unlocked it. gonna be spitting new fire soon. take it to 200k and start a real estate law firm/headhunting operation (bc it's a young audience). let me know if anyone has synergies

Joining @ItsMattsLaw at Margolis PLLC today. A rebrand is coming in a few weeks. New name, new identity, a new kind of firm. Full-service across Florida and New York, run by people who care about the craft. Litigation, fractional GC, commercial transactions, corporate formation and governance, employment, privacy, product counseling, M&A, and tax, all under one roof. The billable hour was invented when people still smoked in elevators. Enough. White glove service, reasonable prices, real technology, built for 2026. More soon.