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@InvertTheWing Mate, I’m being genuine here. Is everything actually ok with you?

I have just awoken from an absolutely crazy nightmare. It starts, I am having dinner with Pep Guardiola and Mikel Arteta, at Salt Bae’s restaurant in London. We are exchanging tactical ideas. But halfway through this dinner, I try to check my phone, because I had no update from my friend Ange Postecoglou, who was also meant to attend this dinner. I spend minutes looking for it, not even focusing on the accent. Mikel says to me, “No, no… we speak about de phone later, eh? Now we are here, we enjoy de dinner… fully. Dis is de moment, yeah? You have to be present.” I obey, as I do not want to kill the vibe. Dinner goes on, we share some Sangria wine, eat steak. And of course, share tactical ideas. The dinner comes to an end, and I offer to pay. “No, no, no… you are our guest, my friend. I will not let you pay, eh. IMPOSSIBLE! Today, we take care of you, this is how we do, yeah?”, says Pep Guardiola. But Arteta, he has his own idea “No, Josep… let him, eh. It is good for him. He will learn a lot from dis… you understand? Sometimes, you have to experience dese things, yeah?” I oblige. I pay the bill for £1568.34, as it was all of our families enjoying the meal. But I still do not have my phone, and I complain to the restaurant staff. They told me it is my problem. Mikel Arteta offers to drive me to the police station, so I get into his Mercedes Benz GLE. I say my goodbyes to Pep Guardiola and his family, and go with Mikel. He tells me “I need to get something at my place first, eh. Then we go. Everything step by step, yeah?”, with a bit of a laugh. I am the passenger, so I can do nothing but agree. We get to his house, he tells me “You can come with me, eh… while we wait. We are like family here, you understand? Always together, yeah?” I feel flattered. He tells me I can look around, make myself at home, and tells me to check his office. Pitch black. I go to turn on the light. The door locks. A lightbulb shines. And a masked figure appears. The masked figure takes out his mask. It is Ange Postecoglou. He says to me “You left your phone, mate”. And gives it back to me. I ask him, “where were you, Ange? You missed our dinner! Why couldn’t you come?” Out of nowhere, Mikel Arteta comes out. “No, no. Don’t worry about him, eh. We focus on us.” “I cannot believe this, eh! I bring Ange, okay, yes, this is on me, I accept BUT YOU… you do nothing?! He is in your pocket! IN YOUR POCKET! And you are just there… like this doing NOTHING?! Where is the awareness? Where is the aggression?! You have to compete, even at the dinner table, eh! This is the standard! I cannot come here, organise everything, trust the process… and then you allow a pickpocket in front of me?! No, this is too much! You have to be sharper! You have to suffer! You have to feel it! Because this… this is not acceptable at this level, yeah?!” He throws my phone on the floor out of anger. “You have to leave my house. Now. No more discussion. This is the decision. Because if we accept this… we accept everything. And I will not allow that, yeah?” I leave. I am disgusted with myself. He has made me feel embarrassed. I could not even catch up with Ange, but why would Ange agree to this? I felt betrayed. And then I woke up.

Heard this all before. Fucking boring. Prove it 👍🏻

@TheArsenalMind Not his fault and I feel bad for him. It’s on the manager for picking him

What is your ONE message for Kepa Arrizabalaga?

@KeithTheGooner @InsideArsenal89 This is a breath of fresh air. I’ve been told I’m clueless. Cannot understand not playing the current best keeper in the world in a cup final just to be nice.

This insane “Cup Keeper” bullshit needs to stop from now on. Cup Final, you play your best players to try and actually win the cup The impact it has on the rest of the team, who might be more nervous without Reya behind them is massive Play your best XI in a final, always

THE MANAGER MADE A DECISION TODAY TO NOT PLAY THE CURRENT BEST GK IN THE WORLD ON FORM IN A CUP FINAL. THAT IS A FACT.

@TartanGooner This is a great point. It gets to a stage where you just think, just leave us be. Can’t be bothered to listen to their opinions anymore even if it’s positive because I just don’t give a shit what they have to say any longer.

I don’t think Carragher or many columnists have been too malicious of late, but what has happened is that due to mistruths and perceived attacks in the past is they have completely lost us as a fanbase, might be good analysis, but we don’t want you to speak about Arsenal anymore.

Absolutely agree.

@Spurspapers Just like Dowman 😭

Apparently this gets you an England call up ? Just like Dowman except there was a keeper 🤣

🐮 💩

Atrocious 👍🏻

The geezer is an absolute clown. Hasn’t got a bloody clue. Cannot stand him. 🚮

Raya has to start on Sunday for me I’m afraid. What are people’s thoughts? #CarabaoCupFinal #Arsenal

At some point, senior Premier League execs have to offer a proper explanation in public for their leniency towards Chelsea. They owe an explanation to fans of clubs punished more harshly. They owe an explanation to those clubs who did abide by the rules. They have to offer some explanation as to why PSR breaches are deemed far more serious than acts of "deception and concealment". Yes, these are the offences of a previous regime at Chelsea. But inconsistencies run through the PL's defence and their reputation is damaged. They can’t hide from a controversy of this magnitude.

Reflection on last nights game and what a great UCL night firstly. Everyone was great. Have to say, I’ve missed Benny Blanco. I love Timber, and it isn’t a slight on him at all, but Ben White really does help with attacking fluidity.

This is genuinely a psychotic level of weirdness. You defo need to seek help if a game of football can make you feel like this.

Cheats 👍🏻

@AdamMcKola This 🛎️ is an Arsenal fan. There’s genuinely no other explanation for how much he can’t stop getting involved 😂

James Milner broke Rooney's record like two months after Wazza got the record but go off... 😂 Go beef with James Vaughan.

@brunoballl You’re comparing Declan Rice to Bruno Fernandes 😂 you’re completely outing your lack of any ball knowledge without meaning to. Poetic.

Bruno: 16 assists, 11 from open play Rice: 5 assists, 0 from open play

The guys a literal kid 😂

@InsideArsenal89 God bless bro

Will be off here for the forseeable. Lots going on. Hoping for a big lift tomorrow. I just want you to know I don’t take this for granted. I appreciate each & every single one of you. God bless ❤️🙏