Calpol for your black soul

Broke bottom May, you made a rectum wound renowned 🎵 #BrianMayDay

@giftedrascal Also, Schumacher is quadrospazzed on a life glug, bit of an unfair advantage to Hamilton if you ask me.

It's just not feasible The car would be way too small for both of them to fit in. Plus there's only one steering wheel. Think about what you're asking

forgot that Americans talking is very annoying

Gonna start selling AI generated art on Etsy to some right mugs.

I put the Goth Medicine in Goth Medicine

@fattmellows Stephen Chunky Chips

Stephen Fry, Steven Fries, what next. Stephen Morefries I expect

If you don't spend at least 10 hours a day adjusting the picture settings on your TV then we can't be friends.

Mad that you can't pay a pornstar to keep quiet but you can incite a riot where people died. #America

@mnrrntt Friend of mine called him "earth's saviour"

Now do a song called Mouth Closed.

@oscar_gbz Yep

@GothMedicine It was just a play with some cameras filing it, and apart from the main character most of the other performances were pretty average.

Still not come to terms with how shit The Whale was.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy Here's my number Call me David.

@crowretro Maybe the joke is that it's still April 1st.

Is that Twitter pulling an April Fools joke on April 4th? Fuck sake. Have a word with yourself.

@skippingjack @CBuckthorn Neg and Crass

@CBuckthorn Neg and Cress

How dare an egg and cress sandwich speak to me like this

Just been asked to resize some square images into a rectangles, without distorting them or cutting off the ends of the images... By the same guy who told me to rotate a photo of a building so he could see the front of it.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

@Milo_AFC @emilystjams The music video for Carly Rae Jepsen, I Really Like You.

@emilystjams THE LAST KINGDOM does it reasonably well, Cornwell is quite good.

Happy nothing substantial happening to Donald Trump Day if you celebrate.

@Beigemania Squeeze in a quick autosum on Excel at 4:45pm, lean back and relax.

@juux Ooooo there's gonna be tweet theft mayhem with this one!