Jon

The vet told us that James needs to lose a bit of weight. We have to stop giving him treats. I've been feeling sorry for him & giving him treats in secret. Found out my wife has too. So James has been getting more treats than ever before

Me and Len were being judged by a grumpy cat on our walk this evening

@texan154 @nypost I'm hoping you didn't actually read the article, if you did and still decided to tweet what you did, it makes you a cunt

Unspeakable new details in case of NJ woman, 25, charged with sexually assaulting young boy trib.al/ZPhqORM

@RageCrusader @nypost Maybe read the article before outing yourself as a bollocks fella?

@nypost "Unspeakable." The dude will brag about it until his last day

@Peter39462624 Not anymore, he was found guilty 😁

@giftedrascal Without conviction.

It won't be. He'll come and go. Come and go

Do you notice people are mourning Sam Neill while making jokes about Lindsay Graham? Thats probably because Sam wasn’t a bigoted cunt.

As brilliant as a footballer as you are, being born in Leeds, I probably would have avoided comparisons to Jimmy

A friend of my sister’s and a tragic, painful tale of how your life can change in a split second. Share if you can ❤️ gofund.me/6b524db29

Saw your da's favourite bench last time I was in New York

@CarlClux He looked ace. Proper character!

@giftedrascal Good work mate 🙌🏻

Sponsored a new rescue dog today, spent 10 minutes on which one but settled on Bosley because I like the name Bosley.

@K1ngIe77 These are brilliant photos! You both look amazing 😁

@Nick_Metcalfe If you realised you made an error in your tweet before posting it, why not simply delete the mistake and then post it without your mistake. This is basic journalism Nick.

ITV coverage of England v Norway starts at 8.45pm. That's one hour and 15 minutes before kick-off. That's like in 1999, when ITV gave Bayern v United at the Nou Camp one hour, 15 minutes. Oh no sorry, my mistake. They gave it FIFTEEN MINUTES. On air at 7.30pm for a 7.45pm KO.

@funk_a_lunk Yes. That's exactly what it means.

@giftedrascal “I’m an autodidact” so a retard?

Never mock someone for mispronounced words, it means they have read that word. I'm an autodidact, mocking someone for self improvement makes you a bit of a prick

If you had to slam your bollocks in a car door. Would you choose a Ford or a Honda?

"I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." - Mark Twain

@barneyfarmer The Peruvian grim reaper

@MissHellieRoo It's a doggy dog world

@giftedrascal All very well and good until it's things that are spoken everyday like ask, specific, toilet etc.

A client wanted to come into the office tomorrow for a meeting. Nah fella, keep your clammy hands away from me.

@SmallWorriedDog See I think it was probably emu that murdered him. He was always being a bollocks, probably shoved him off!

@giftedrascal It's a pity Emu wasn't up on the roof with Rod - he could have grabbed him & gently flown down and landed in the garden safely. Then I remembered Emus are flightless birds. And this one was a puppet 😞

"What was he doing on the bloody Roof?"