Anne 🐗🐍🦃

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Anne 🐗🐍🦃

Anne 🐗🐍🦃

@GovernorAnne

Phoenix Apologist | Competent Huntress | Forever in Pursuit of the Noble Javelina | Currently On Dead Dad Road Trip 2.0

602 Katılım Temmuz 2019
2.5K Takip Edilen1.9K Takipçiler
Anne 🐗🐍🦃
Anne 🐗🐍🦃@GovernorAnne·
Waiting in the courtroom lobby and the only people here are me and the lady who killed my dad AND she overheard me on my way in like “Yeah I’m here for the sentencing of [name], I’m the victim’s daughter” so this is very awkward!!!
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Anne 🐗🐍🦃
Anne 🐗🐍🦃@GovernorAnne·
Something that sucks about being on a grief journey in Nevada is you spend a lot of time crying in front of slot machines because that’s where you’re allowed to smoke so people think you just lost your house to the vaguely racist Lucky Jade Panda machine
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Anne 🐗🐍🦃
Anne 🐗🐍🦃@GovernorAnne·
@PuncheeBurro @GlobeFarrah “Don’t wear sunscreen. Be funny” I already do that AND I’ve never been with a man whose mother has seen my vagina. Women really can have it all
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Tara
Tara@Spenstarr1·
@GovernorAnne Me a cleaning lady would've yelled back "me too girl"
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Anne 🐗🐍🦃
Anne 🐗🐍🦃@GovernorAnne·
I would like to apologize to the cleaning lady who thought I had checked out and opened my motel room door at whom I shouted “OPEN THAT DOOR ONE MORE INCH I’VE GOT A GUN” which was probably very jarring, but please understand I am a woman traveling alone, and there was no gun
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Anne 🐗🐍🦃
Anne 🐗🐍🦃@GovernorAnne·
Starting my victim impact statement that I gotta deliver tomorrow morning to the lady who killed my dad with “Well, this is awkward”
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Anne 🐗🐍🦃 retweetledi
trash jones
trash jones@jzux·
i want a small, tasteful wedding. no friends. no family. no groom. just me and an open bar
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Anne 🐗🐍🦃
Anne 🐗🐍🦃@GovernorAnne·
When I stopped at this rest stop in Nevada I was like, um, wow, ok, dream wedding venue, but unfortunately the pagodas have an 18 hour occupancy limit
Anne 🐗🐍🦃 tweet media
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Anne 🐗🐍🦃
Anne 🐗🐍🦃@GovernorAnne·
Couldn’t decide which clause on this sign to make a “that’s what they say about my p—” joke with so just go ahead and assume I made all of them
Anne 🐗🐍🦃 tweet media
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Anne 🐗🐍🦃
Anne 🐗🐍🦃@GovernorAnne·
One thing about northern Nevada is it never stops selling itself to you like, man, I get it, this is the best place on earth
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Anne 🐗🐍🦃
Anne 🐗🐍🦃@GovernorAnne·
Nobody warns you about how many people you run into in Nevada purporting to be mediums. Told a lady at the bar last night why I’m in town and she was like “It radiates off of your spirit how close you two were” like mmm you might wanna unplug your modem and plug it back in again
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