Busted Flip Flops

Somebody out there is thinking of you and the impact you have in their life. It's not me, I think you're an idiot.

This is bullshit. -Everyday

Women: We’ve had to endure monthly periods, menstrual cramps, childbirth, and now menopause. What about you? Men: I can sign my name in cursive when I pee. We’re not the same.

The toilet is broken on the Orion Spacecraft. I could not think of a single thing that would want me want to turn around and go back to earth faster than this. This is Level 5 let’s go back home for me.

It’s crazy that you can see so many craters on the moon that are visible, but the only ones you can see on earth are from that one geek who sat behind you in science class back in high school days.

When Artemis II swings around the dark side of the moon and it doesn’t say “Pink Floyd was here” I’m going to be very disappointed.

If you wear a tweed blazer and smoke a pipe, you can walk into any public place and people will tell you all their problems

That moment you realize that the cost of a Free App was actually your soul.

Making her laugh and feeding her mozzarella cheese sticks is top tier foreplay.

People hating on alcohol, fatty foods and cigarettes but I can’t recall a spinach salad showing up for me during hard times

Turns on shower, looks at the shower head…. And that’s how the invention of a space rocket engine was created. It’s true, look that up.

Learn not to give a fuck is the best advice I have.

When was the last time you asked someone what time it was? Been a while, hasn’t it?

I feel bad for the astronauts, if someone farts there’s no rolling down the window to get some fresh air. You just live in the funk.

Did the astronauts have to wait in the TSA line to board their flight like the rest of us have to?

@TigerWoods Praying for your health and wellbeing, Tiger. Stay strong, bro! 🙏🏻

When I was a kid we made paper airplanes and played with them for hours. Why? Because we had nothing else to do, literally nothing. Gen X Rules.

Had my car towed. Nothing wrong with it, just cheaper than buying gas.

If the United States is making so much money from the Tarriffs then why not supply everyone with a fuel/gas card to make up for the high gas prices on a war that was never necessary? *asking on behalf of those who are pissed off at the government

The job of the box set is to protect the books. The box set doesn't care if you read the books. In fact, the box set would prefer that you move along.