ella

kissed him once now he's asking what are we

girls have half a drink and start saying perchance

as a zoomer girl no longer capable of sincerity i'll ALWAYS defend my cringe millennial women

hard not to take a perverse pleasure in the ritual of Getting Ready.. the endless skin scrubbing and perfuming... it's more about feeling brand new

marlboro golds can't give me cancer because my mind and soul are too unrepressed to let my body turn against itself

every deranged brunette needs a beautiful blond twink to perform shibari on

imagine being a straight man and sending brokeback mountain reels to your friend who's also a straight man

the only time i envy men is when i remember i'll never have a male friend i can pretend to be gay with

no offense but some of you hate men because you take them too seriously

young hoes don't wait for dishes to fully dry before putting them back in the cupboard

part of my morning routine is vividly imagining tripping on the steps to catch the train, slamming my front teeth on the steps, i visualize a bloody grin, one of the few things i do every day

dating older men is so tired... find a young himbo who'll let you take advantage of him

i'd never give a man an inch. but on occasion i'll humiliate myself for a beautiful woman in a dubiously platonic manner

not texting the quantum entanglement man for some quantum entanglement

parental wounds have such inevitable effects you can accurately extrapolate almost anything from them. for instance, the mere cadence of a man's speech is enough to reveal whether he likes having his balls stepped on with 6-inch stilettos

men love it when you cry all the time

another unfortunate symptom of aging is a dwindling preoccupation with anything metaphysical

my ex-boyfriend would be so disappointed yet begrudgingly aroused if he could smell the divine mix of marlboro gold and olympéa emanating from me right now

the hollowest person you know calls themselves a poet and all their poems are about writing poetry