People's President

@evenmaina This is a Butita Collective

I know an Itumbi idea when I see one. Idea za kishoga.

@dklaston The highway is never the problem, town runs ndio shida. VXL can squeeze in this fete 600km bila safari zingine but with the yellow jerrican.

My bro went to Kisii with the diesel M57 BMW X6 over the Easter weekend. He fueled a full tank in Nairobi before departing. He is back in Nairobi and this is the current level of the fuel gauge 😳😳😳…. And he was sending it properly. Buy that diesel today. Anyway, hopefully this week it gets a new owner 🙃

@AokoOtieno_ Chai ya leo inachoma roof ya mdomo bwana. Mbona mtu alambe maharagwe ya Gladys bwana

Woi...! This one is direct from Tyler Perry studios! You recall ile scandal ya huyu na her chief of staff, former Ramogi (Royal Media) employee, Charles Odhiambo caught in hotel room? Here is how events unfolded. The name Wanga is her husband's! Gladys comes from Wang'aya, Muhoroni, which is a subclan from SAKWA. That is why Raila favoured her, and folks like Ochilo Ayacko, Gavana Migori It is b'coz of Sakwa thing. The current MP, K'yoo, used to sleep with, or should I say, inherited Glady's mother after her Dad died Her entry into politics ilianzia hapo, though Kajwang Gerald the late was her breakthrough So Wanga the man had been suspecting the affair, bro began tracking Charles' phone Wife thought she was KGB. Left smart phone home, carried mulika mwizi, akidhani hiyo ni safety measure 🚮 On the day ya miti kuteleza, Wanga saw location ya Charles reading at a 5 star hotel in Nairobi He carried two heavy bouncers, packed his pistol and headed there. Reception tried zile za "oh, it is against our policy bla bla," mzee akatoa bunduki! "Give me access to the room or!" Ati, "Okay Sir. On condition that you leave the gun here at reception", not knowing one of the bouncers amebeba ka nyundo Si akapewa these card keys. Slide, enter room! Found Gavna and Charlie hata hawajafika bed. Wako foreplay heavy on the couch after two bottles of panty dropper Her undies ziko kwa wig, tongue ya Odhis is on her bean like Bosco za matanga zikirarua remains ya slaughtered cow Akalima wife vibare as the weidas fell on Charlie, ngumi na nyundo, Gavana akaponyoka in the commotion, Ran to the reception, wakamficha na kumpea simu. She had number ya Ogeta offhead, akampigia and begged to talk to Jakom Jakom saizo alikuwa system, si ni hapa juzi akishikana na Rais. Jakom simu kwa wakuu, wakuu to NIS Si ndio walitoa Wanga scene of crime. By the time Tea tunapata was 2 months later! After Charles was airlifted abroad for specialized treatment because hao bouncers held him as hubby hit his balls na nyundo They made sure hawezi mbao tena, EVER! It was peaky blinders, plus sons of anarchy script combined! On his return, he was fired from Homabay and deployed to Kisumu under Nyong'o. Organized by Rao. Ako huko sai. Ndio uone Wanga kept fainting when Raila died. Huyo ndio alikuwa akimtoa kwa noma Sai amebaki ku bribe MPs because wakiongea, she is done! Hata sijaguza the sweetest part!

@KyaloIntel Huyu ni sharp boy. Ataiendea after one year aingie nayo duty free

Former LSK President Nelson Havi acquires a new Mercedes Maybach on his Birthday. Wajuaji, hii Maybach inaeza kuwa pesa ngapi hivi?

@Artifence You see why they gatekeeped it from you

Ingia dark web, tafuta vendors wa CC from eastern Europe or Asia and join their TG channels. Hapo ndani utapata loaders wanatafuta accounts za different apps. Wewe unafungua izo apps, unawekewa kitu, unatuma cut yao as BTC. Friday I spent 17k with sharp boys just to know this.

@DrKanyuira Saazone has them unless you are reinventing the wheel

Yesterday I spent the whole day in a small small meeting with relatives huko Nyandarua and now it's time to complete tasks that I left pending. One of them is to source a Casio MTP B145D for one of you guys. He wants it in Tiffany Blue(right side), the cost will be Kshs 12,000-12,400 and he has already paid 12k upfront. Let's get to work and see how soon the watch can get here.

@CopShakurkihara Where was your patience when you quit work to beg

Next week, Obinna will take all the boxers who fought yesterday to State House, and each of them will walk away with KSh 1 million. Young people, especially us Gen Z, have a major problem,we lack patience. We don’t want to learn, and we often think we already know everything. We want success quickly. Let’s learn from this gentleman, Alfayo Siwe. Alfayo was offered KSh 100,000 to fight, but he said he was worth more. He started clashing with Obinna, claiming Obinna was just doing business. As a result, Obinna replaced him with another boxer. Right now, Alfayo doesn’t even have the KSh 100,000, yet next week he could have been going to collect KSh 1 million from the President. If Alfayo had known how to listen, learn, and be patient, he would have gone far. Young people, let’s master these values,even in the corporate world

@iamennoh Probably Kiss didn't want 2 women

Muchina Malomba left radio to focus on his travel content and yoo boy knows the ball🙌

@mbiti_mwondi You're casting you net too wide daktari. Tosheka

This is my type of woman by the way,beautiful with a nice sexy tattoo and beautiful hair, I want a woman who drinks a soft champagne something like Moet,smokes her vape,dances her soul out and still drive me home after leaving hello Jua at Sunday 10am then we waste our Sunday lazying in the house playing chess,some mnyanduano,Netflix and chill,slow drives to nowhere etc then Monday we go back to looking for coins to fund our lifestyle. Last time I dated a woman who doesn’t drink or party nilioshwa mbayaa,very boring twisted human beings!

@cbs_ke Vitz driver caused the accident. If he was sober angesongea trailer.

I salute the tanker driver. Saved lives at Kipkaren. The driver of the vits tried.

@Mastardcesh Kwani 15 M mlipaanga chini kama DPM

Last month, we managed to build a mansion costed 20 million in Kilgoris. A friend of mine convinced me that the design (FRAME 1) is most costly than the (FRAME 2) More ugly also. FRAME 2 is the recent modern design. FRAME 2 is set to cost only 13 Million. Undergoing construction in Kamulu area Nairobi. Taking shape nicely 👌 😎 Don't you see even the landscaping and the beauty. I know most of you love the old fashioned designs but let me convince you today. FRAME A is the best. What's your take?

@KE_MrBlack These onest dont take accidents. They have Misoprostol in their purses

Let's Assume you accidentally got such a woman pregnant.

@WilliamsRuto Mnaweka coat of arms kwani ameamshwa Kenyatta

@EngJohnMachari1 Hii kukaa na Sudi imekuharibu. Noah is 2.5

MBAVU DESTROYER HAS LOST THE FOLLOWING: 1. KSh 3.5 Million cash 2. Brand new Toyota Noah worth 4M shillings 3. Championship Belt 4. Motorbike worth KSh 4 Million from CEO Gatimu — he already has the keys and he keeps it permanently if he wins! 5. KSh 100,000 cash from Pastor Kanyari 6. 30 nights nonstop sleepovers special from Alicia Kanini 7. KSh 1.2 Million + dream date + ride in her car from the Kenyan lady.

@ClintonObonyo What was being offered in lieu. Ju 260 is way below the thing I imagine.

Hello. Leo nimejipata kwa hii ngori ya ladies failing to pay for trip. After dropping her she was telling me ati haana pesa alaf nikamwambia twende tureport kwa police station. Kuskia hivyo akanilipa haraka. So they are doing what they know. Kindly post this to alert our fellow riders to be keen with such customer. Her name is Ivana from Kawangware near Luqman petrol station

@ignyharaz2 Weka pin. Siogopi majini

Abandoned homes. Always wondering where the whole generation disappeared to. And why nobody has bothered to occupy the houses and do some agriculture. Wonders.

@Is_javan Cards are faster than kuhesabiwa coins

Normalize not paying with cards kwa supermarket aki waah mnatueka sana 😪😪😪

@MillicentOmanga This new haircut shows your real age. Truthful woman

We need your strength Oh Lord 🤲 Blessed Sunday good people 🙏 #MamaMiradi #MamaNairobi #MamaNiMjamo

@Maryian96 Abortion money

Help a friend... Couples is it okay for a husband to be sending my younger siz (22 years) money? She's in college and I found out through Mpesa that he's sending her money (first 7k, second- 5,300 shiilings all within one month) when I asked him he said my siz asked for pocket money then I asked my siz amd she told me my husband just surprised her with the money as a good brother in law. Couples who do I believe now and is it right really? Consider my sister stayed with us before joining college, I also found out my husband has saved her sizzy with a love emoji (Sizzy❤) should I be worried?

@xysist One last miscalculation

Anyone who was in Maseno school or Moi University - medicine knows how Brilliant and kind Dr Orori was. He was index 17 in Maseno and the best in math competing even in math olympiad. We unfortunately lost him to negligence on our highways. We need to rein in rogue road users