PoopThoughts

My Denver Broncos themed Halloween display. Probably gonna make some new friends in the neighborhood with this.

@hawkeyegamefilm Oh hey, I wrote that.

for those unaware, this is a very old BHGP reference: blackheartgoldpants.com/2012/2/27/2826…

33 1/2 arms for Dunker, only .25 inches longer than legendary short armed Iowa OT Riley Reiff, man that quarter inch makes a big difference

@jnicolem I made them and it's important to note that they fucking suck.

These look delicioso! Zero flour? 🥹🥰 I’m trying them as soon as I can get groceries. Snowmageddon is coming and all of Tennessee is sold out of food. 😂

@ghostamanita The answer is Die Spitz.

Apple Watch has zero chill.

@Blisser @RileyRieff man I used to be hilarious

Ohhh—- Makes me think of good ol’ @RileyRieff. Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride—tells it like no one does!! HFMR! blackheartgoldpants.com/2012/2/27/2826…

@TylerDurden Hey man, this is a rough one if you're still feeling charitable. These are friends of mine, not active on here. Thanks either way. gofund.me/454b6de4

Tag a friend who’s not doing so well this Xmas, don’t try and cheat me, be honest. I’ll fix them up. Cheers lads.

@terrytjw Fucking it up is the easy part.

it's all gonna go up your job is to find the best horses based on your port size and risk appetite then ride them till your targets or cycle top (tricky tho) how are people still fucking this up?

@EricNMoody Down 120-0 and my entire team is projected for 115, but should be fine because I'm streaming Daniel Jones.

If you have Ja’Marr Chase on your fantasy team—or if you’re facing him this week—I need to see it. Drop those screenshots.

Shoutout to this kid who drove a cooler to Home Depot to get some lumber.

This is wild, a foul ball from an adjacent field lands directly in the catcher's mitt. @StarsSignature

@storminspank I think you're mistaken. The one everyone is excited about is the new Whores album. open.spotify.com/album/0j4HJCW0…

@Women2Dc @Cindy_Banyai_FL @BigMouthMediaFL @DWS________ @CPDAction @ryangrim @peterdaou @TMZ @TMZLive If our healthcare system is "broken" then how did they get him into a wheelchair so quickly?

#breakingnew 🚨🚨Former Republican Congressman Madison Cawthorne who was tailgating me, just rear ended a FL State Trooper‼️ Im SHOOK 🤯😡😳 I was driving on i75S towards Miami in the left lane and this black tinted sports car was tailgating me relentlessly. I accelerated ahead and moved to the right lane in front of a tractor trailer to let the car by. 5 mins later the highway comes to a complete stop, I swerve to the side so no one rear ends me and slow to a halt. Suddenly the car door opens and a man in a wheelchair rolls out. At the same moment I have to navigate around his car and I look ahead to see the officer exiting from his rear ended vehicle holding his neck in the left lane as well. I pulled over to the right shoulder lane and stopped to ask if everyone was ok and to offer assistance. I couldnt believe my eyes. It occured to me that former CONGRESSMAN CAWTHORNE from NC was the black CAR that stormed by me in an angry road rage tantrum. I spoke to the cop to see if he was ok as he was quite stunned & kept reaching for his neck. He said he was ok, asked if I was a witness, (I wasnt, I must have been 30 seconds behind) and I gave them water as i didnt know what else to do after he thanked me for stopping. As I drove away & replayed the surreal scene in my head I realized it was the same car who was erratically & aggressively driving behind & then around me. Unbelievably scary & upsetting to see 🥺 (Happened at 4:32pm heading South on i75 towards Miami around the Big Cypress Reservation) #highwayaccident #175southbound #i75 #floridastatetrooper #madisoncawthorn #congressmancawthorne #republican #congressmanmadisonhawthorn #roadrage #officer #cop #rearended

Saw a guy wearing an Apple Vision Pro today for the first time and I have to admit I was surprised how much fucking dumber it looked in real life than I had even imagined.

@smallvillepiano 1. Pharmacology 2. American Explorers 3. Chronology of the Pharaohs 4. Geography of the Brain 5. History of Early Hungarian Cabinet Making

What are five topics you can talk about for 30 minutes with zero prep? Mine are: 1. Uralic Languages (literally happened Sunday) 2. Wesley’s conception of holiness 3. Kansas history 4. Ethnic minorities within empires 5. Human sexuality

@caitiedelaney My mom would end an exaggeration with "like who laid the rail" and when I asked her what the shit that meant she said "I don't know, my mom used to say it."

Can we get a thread going of the weird turns of phrase your mom used growing up that you thought was a real thing until you realized it definitely is not

Love being back in Iowa

I'm back in my rural Iowa hometown and a guy just told my dad that he looks like Benjamin Franklin these days and then laughed and asked if he invented the lightbulb.

Thought the announcer said that Deacon Hill almost went to Florida and I was like "how in the fuck?" Then I realized he said Fordham.

Piñata for my daughter's birthday with a homemade whacknoodle.