Hélėna Parker

@Spiceroi0086 @fesshole How do you know this is a woman??

@fesshole Girl… get prepared to be single. Because the minute you confess, that loyal man is out the door 🚪 men rarely survive the same wounds they inflict

I want my husband to cheat, so I can finally admit that I cheated on him years ago. It's been weighing on my mind for years, but he's loyal unlike my cheating arse.

@fesshole I smell BS not a chance you can flick anything over a WHOLE house unless you have a trebuchet or you actually mean a DOLLS HOUSE

I've discovered I can flick our elderly neighbours cat shit with a plastering trowel over the whole house, into the front road and onto the car of the annoying prick across the road with the loud pop-pop exhaust. I'm not sorry, it's a Ford Focus mate, not a Ferrari.

@ConcernedApe I have switch 1 sorry I should have said that to begin with 🤦🏼‍♀️

@ConcernedApe What is the upgrade features please? As ive not seen anything different yet

Stardew Valley Nintendo Switch 2 Edition is available in Europe now. It's a free upgrade if you already own the switch 1 version

@itvnews Good, hopefully he doesn't make it and the attacker(s) get a reward

Soham child murderer Ian Huntley 'fighting for life after prison attack' itv.com/news/anglia/20…

@Matt_Pinner 19, ive never sent a fax

6 for me!! I feel confident nobody Has all 20 How many for you?

@Matt_Pinner Washing up water

Settle a debate. What do you call this?

@sciencegirl Neither I see a hippo

Do you see a CAT or a MOUSE

@PoundShopBot @fesshole For you maybe, but for me it has always been cake mix. I grow up in leeds and both my mum and nanna baked cakes and buns (cupcakes) from scratch and would let us lick the left over cake mix from the bowl and whisk ❤️😋

@fesshole It was always called batter. The “mixes” only came prepared in boxes. Even in Scotland

We never used the term "cake batter" when I was a kid, we said "cake mix." When I first heard cake batter, in my early 20s, I assumed someone took a slice of cake, dipped it in batter and deep fried it. As I'm Scottish I don't think this is completely unreasonable.

@Jenny_1884 You need to go to a chemist like Rowlands not a supermarket. Ive had antibiotics prescribed by the chemist.

Husband phoned Drs as he has a chest infection. Receptionist said to go to local pharmacy as they can give him antibiotics. Goes to Tesco Pharmacy & told they aren’t allowed to give out antibiotics & needs to see the Dr. Do these people actually know what they are doing 🙀

@Matt_Pinner B

Which hallway is aesthetically pleasing to you?

@_XDogs Password lol

@APater6076 @Bazil001 @MartinSLewis That's called "pink tax" sadly its not just medication.

@Bazil001 @MartinSLewis Also be wary of things like ibuprofen branded for period pain or for migraines. More often than not they're exactly the same as the normal stuff.

TELL US: What things will you NEVER pay full price for? When is the sticker price always too much so you need to get it for less. Please post your answer by reply and podcast producer Matt will compile. And do like your favourites.

@fesshole I once sent a sext message to my friend in the US instead of my husband lol she rang me straight laughing, I was mortified 🤦🏼‍♀️ never sexted again.

I once accidentally sent a work colleague a text at 10pm saying 'good night, remember to brush your teeth properly. You need to remember your shin pads tomorrow' - it was for my son

@fesshole If they dont want to be together in that way anymore then just split up ffs

Having an affair with a woman 5 doors down for a few months. I asked her the other day why was she having the affair. "Same as you, revenge" was her answer. Turns out my wife has been shagging the local school principal for about 4 years. And EVERYONE knows. Wished I hadnt asked.

@ConcernedApe Its the Elf tree house from Ben and Holly ❤️

@fesshole Wow the comments, you guys have made me smile this morning. Normally im smh at people being mean but not today. ❤️❤️❤️ If you were my neighbour I would happily have you join us xxx

I live alone & have no friends. In the summer my neighbour often has all his mates around & they have a bbq & beers. I silently sit on the other side of the fence drinking beer & pretend I'm drinking with them. I know all their names, wives & kids but they don't know I exist

@CrimeLdn Not true, I've seen this clip loads of times this yr. However I think its disgusting nobody stopped them not even the people paid to.

Happened in Kilburn tescos yesterday.

@estnonmeaculpa @fesshole Why does it matter

@fesshole Struggling to work out the gender of the fessor.

Needed a wax, chose to try new local place. Woman offers me a happy ending. I say no, I have a husband, she says "now I don't get paid". So I tip her well, spend money to not get hand relief, and now I feel sordid like I've cheated on my husband even though nothing happened.

@BT176543 @fesshole Also from a broken family due to an affair, my dad had the affair. I agree if your not long in love, leave. Yes divorce is had on kids but the backlash of an affair just screws they up more 😫💔

@fesshole As a child of divorce because of affair, you deserve this heartbreak. If you don’t want to be with someone then leave, cheating is so selfish and cowardly

My 18 month affair has completely ruined my life. We haven't been found out, we probably won't either. But falling in love with one another, when our main lives are too complicated to exit, means we have intentionally walked into heartbreak. It's mindlessly stupid.