Harold Cox

@alphafox Per my source, my barber Ignacio, this is the result of an adult female ingesting just ONE marijuana. She is lucky it was only one, even just two marijuanas could be LETHAL according to Ignacio. And Ignacio NEVER misses. Just look at my haircut. Love, Harry Cox

🚨 BREAKING 🚨 After just ONE pick, we already know who lost the 2026 NFL Draft. Poor kid got destroyed in front of MILLIONS #NFLDraft

This is what hard work looks like. Thanks to the years of dedication and hard work. I was able to afford to finance a Costo hotdog a couple months back. You can be here too, if your barber is the great Ignacio

@_StonersRUs_ Per my source, my barber Ignacio, the best alternative name for marijuana is POISON!!! Ignacio informed me that ingesting JUST ONE marijuanas could be potentially fatal. If you ingest TWO, count your seconds down cause you’re DEAD. Stay away from this awful drug. Love, Harry Cox

Alternative names for weed:

@justinbieber Per my source, my barber Ignacio, the Biebs is absolutely shredding on this bike, and can even hit a 2.7 second long wheelie! Ignacio is absolutely blown away by Bieber’s bike skills. We’re hearing he could be on the pro circuit in the near future. Good luck, JB. Love, Harry Cox

@RyanGarcia per my source, my barber Ignacio, Ryan will NOT sign this contract, as he noticed an “Arman clause” in it. It stipulates that Ryan must give Arman the debt he is owed out of his fight earnings. Ryan is doing absolutely EVERYTHING possible to not pay Arman. Gross. Love, Harry Cox

If I actually had the contract Conor I would’ve signed that as fast as one of these hands will touch your jaw come fight night.

@FitWithDrSam Per my source, my barber Ignacio, if a man doesn’t masturbate for a whole month, then his testicles will swell to the size of basketballs, and after a month and ONE day go by, his testicles explode, rendering the man useless for procreation. Beat that meat, guys. Love, Harry Cox

What happens if a man doesn't masturbate for a whole month?

@elonmusk per my source, my barber Ignacio, this is in fact a real game. The games title is called “Fortnite” according to Ignacio’s children. All 12 of them play the game and usually play in shifts. Elon, I bet you have played with his kids before. Love, Harry Cox

Grok Imagine

@nypost per my source, my barber Ignacio, the tiger is just a very very VERY pissed of #Jets fan and is still in shock that Geno Smith is slated to be the teams starter this upcoming season. ANYONE would be pissed off if they found that out too. Love, Harry Cox

Chaos erupts as tiger leaps into crowd after circus barrier collapses

@GlobeEyeNews per my source, my barber Ignacio, the reason baldness is so rampant there is because all of the beautiful women there are actually bat shit crazy and stress out the men over 2.7 times MORE than any other country. Ignacio NEVER misses, just look at MY haircut. Love, Harry Cox

Spain is the baldest country in the world, with over 44% of men having male pattern baldness, according to a survey.

@MerriamWebster Per my source, my barber Ignacio, Marijuana is also the only word that is the same as a lethal drug. Even ingesting just ONE marijuanas could result in death in MINUTES. I am so very thankful that Merriam-Webster is spreading awareness against this awful poison. Love, Harry Cox

'Marijuana' is the only English word in which the 'j' is silent.

@MySportsUpdate @AdamSchefter Per my source, my barber Ignacio, the #Eagles are looking to add a dynamic playmaker to the offense. Some are saying they’re looking for an AJ Brown type of receiver to help the offense this upcoming season. Could you imagine AJ Brown with Barkley and Hurts? 🤯 Love, Harry Cox

The #Eagles are a team to watch for veteran trades this week, per @AdamSchefter. Talks with the Vikings on a Jonathan Greenard have cooled, but other deals are in play — and it wouldn’t be a surprise if at least one gets done.

@RapSheet Per my source, my barber Ignacio, Thibodeaux had actually requested a trade when Lawrence did. Both players came out of the showers to find Cam Skattebo wearing ONLY his helmet, banging his head against the wall to “prepare for concussions.” They wanted out ASAP Love, Harry Cox

The #Giants, who had gotten trade calls centered around edge Kayvon Thibodeaux for the last few months, are now considered less likely to trade him following the blockbuster deal sending Dexter Lawrence to the #Bengals, sources say. No one is ruling anything out. But unlikely.

@JalenHurts Per my source, my barber Ignacio, Hurts is the real reason behind the AJ Brown trade, stating “this shit is too easy for a guy like me.” In other news, the Eagles have been eliminated from the 2027 postseason, and are exploring ways to bring in a receiver like AJ. Love, Harry Cox

@ad2744100 @DovySimuMMA And that is strictly why Ignacio has rejected Joe Rogan’s request for a haircut for YEARS. He doesn’t wanna catch his addiction to drugs. Love, Harry Cox

@HarryCoxSports @DovySimuMMA Meanwhile Joe Rogan is the biggest marajuana and psychedelic drug advocate on the planet

why didn’t they let him fly the flag???

@niftyhippo1 @DovySimuMMA Nifty, per my source, aka my barber Ignacio, that communist country of Canada is full of druggie weedheads. Everyone knows the national plant of Canada is marijuana, so of course it makes sense they would put a pot leaf on their flag. Love, Harry Cox

@HarryCoxSports @DovySimuMMA You can clearly see it’s not a weed leaf lol

@mrfishflesh @DovySimuMMA I’m just trying to spread the wisdom that Ignacio has spread to me. Love, Harry Cox

@BlackTomThePyr8 @DovySimuMMA Tom, you are in mine and Ignacio’s prayers. There’s no hope for Tyler as he did three marijuanas and will forever be a drug head. Use this as a teaching moment for the youth, that’s how I taught my 3 year old grandchild to stay away from the devils lettuce. Love, Harry Cox

@HarryCoxSports @DovySimuMMA My friend Tyler did three whole marijuanas and got so blazed he fell in a river. When Mrs. Miller came to get him out, he cursed her, and then the cops came, and he bit a cop in half, and now he's in prison FOREVER. Marijuanas: Not even once.

@AdamSchefter @WinSportsGroup Per my source, my barber Ignacio, the final straw for Lawrence was when we came out of the showers and saw Cam Skattebo, wearing ONLY his helmet, banging his head against the wall. When he asked Skatt for the reason, Cam only replied with a series of grunts. Love, Harry Cox

Compensation update: Now that he has passed his physical and the trade is official, newly-acquired DT Dexter Lawerence is signing a one-year, $28 million contract extension with the Bengals, per @WinSportsGroup So in the end, Lawrence gets the trade he wanted while being contractually tied to Cincinnati for the next three seasons.