Summer's Eye

There are like 3 acceptable hobbies for a girl

Maintaining eye contact with her as i readjust the pin the weight machine so she knows I can always no-look the right hole

Indians in Ontario recreating India from first principles

Taco Bell being the confirmed source of "explosive diarrhea" is iconic

@velvetmilkman0 True. If i like her enough, I'm willing to take the risk

Ladies I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if he doesn’t cum inside you I’m afraid he don’t fw you like that

Haaland's mastery of english and incredibly American personality is going to make him a big tv/movie star once he ends his playing career

@blondesnmoney Ty proud of this one

@HellsBitchen_ Incredible

How about choking? How about 800ppm and thick?

@beaniebbl Also text message evidence of a crash out 🤦‍♀️

why do you guys feel embarrassed about everything

@chappUHquiddick Reinventing the Tea app from first principles

@HellsBitchen_ Yelp reviews but for hinge daters

"Omg guys she is soooo funny and fun to be around!!🤪"

@cranny6 I'm proud of this one

@HellsBitchen_ This is class

Worst collapse of an English back line since Dunkirk

If you didn't know better, you'd think Ryanair planes exist solely as roasty slowcookers. In go a bunch of pastey white Brits, a few days pass, and out come the same Brits a bright pink

@fidifitnessgal Humans just reinvented dysentery

Isn’t explosive diarrhea, nature’s GLP-1s?

@MomaBera @WillyBWrangler Hahahaha no we can't

@WillyBWrangler we could built better trains

I’m not NIMBY or YIMBY or even super politically motivated but I think putting 10+ story apartment buildings east of the BQE is an objectively horrible idea. The L is already a disaster for commuting

Guaranteed worst feature yet bloomberg.com/news/articles/…

@beaniebbl I should do this

got a few questions about this so here are some thoughts for my friends who can read more than 240 characters— noting my dreams every morning (and occasionally after naps) has been such a grounding practice. i love getting a glimpse into my subconscious mind — who i’m thinking about, what worries me, the desires i have, etc. — and seeing how that manifests into storylines. it’s nice to reflect on the emotions too, i feel like that insight helps inform my day-to-day decisions. it’s also a lovely writing exercise, to take what i remember and try to be as descriptive as possible. if your dreams are kinda crazy, you should start too. i suggest keeping a pen and a blank notebook directly next to you so it’s the first thing you see upon waking (i prefer a journal without lines so i can be messy if need be without caring about organization or structure). at first, it can be difficult: you struggle with recall, and there’s not so much to write down, but don’t be discouraged. within weeks, as you keep up the practice, you’ll be shocked by how many details stick with you. sometimes, i can fill pages and pages, and the whole thing takes less than ten minutes. the key is to begin writing as soon as you wake up. more elements of your dream emerge as that initial grogginess kinda dissipates, but it’s important to avoid checking your phone so you can remember as much as possible. that’s what works best for me :)

Reminder to do a welfare check on your french equity derivatives trader tonight

@MyNameIsntEffy No fair I've thought the same

@HellsBitchen_ if i found out i was going to jail for 5+ years id kms first

mutual monday: reply and ill tell you something you don’t care about