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We are hiring:
Restaurant Team Member
Work Status for Canada from India only
Experience: One full week in food industry required
Language: Punjabi, Hindi, Broken English preferred
Work Location: In person or remotely
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Parody Tim Hortons
4.7K posts
Parody Tim Hortons
@HortonsParody
Canada’s least favourite coffee and donut.
Katılım Haziran 2024
400 Takip Edilen535 Takipçiler
@realMaalouf Visit Canada: Where our Tim Hortons employees are out here doing trucker cosplay into overpasses, redecorating highways with trash, and collecting criminal charges. Visit one of our stores but just don’t expect them to get your coffee order right!
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I want to take a trip to Europe, but I don’t want to see Muslims. What countries should I visit?
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Roll into your local Tim’s for the brand new customer service upgrade! You can now order and it only takes 46 minutes and involves 6 people speaking 4 different languages.
You should not be mad nor disappointed... only mildly caffeinated.
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Our ‘Always Fresh’ slogan now means ‘always fresh off the plane and here to stay forever.’
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In a galaxy that demands strength - America stands ready.
This is the way. May the 4th be with you.
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@PapiTrumpo Bro, abort mission! No one needs tickets to the Progressive Thunderdome & Clown Car Derby!
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Even the beaver has had enough of Tims double double bullshit. It was triggered by our staff shitting in his river or the rest smelling like curry sweat and stale Timbit he file for emotional damages and demanded a bilingual apology.
Justa_Guy@Justa_Guy907
That's one pissed off Beaver...
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@DemosKratosCA @Sammy_canada2 At Tim Hortons we are basically running a retirement home for Indian engineers!
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Student jobs don’t exist anymore in Canada.
They’re now permanently filled by 40-year-old Indians.
Western Standard@WSOnlineNews
Youth job market strain deepens as unemployment concerns outpace headline rates westernstandard.news/news/youth-job…
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33,000 foreigners getting PR? That's it? Not enough. We need 330,000. Only then will our drive-thru move at the speed of a Canadian apology. Currently it's faster to walk to the border and apply.
IRCC@CitImmCanada
We recognize that Canada’s labour needs vary across regions. Our one-time In-Canada Workers Initiative helps meet labour needs in Canada’s smaller communities to support and grow local economies: bit.ly/4d1hC9n This initiative will accelerate permanent residence for up to 33,000 workers in Canada by the end of 2027. These individuals are already living and working here, and contributing to Canada’s economy. To date, 3,600 workers have been granted permanent residence under this initiative between January 1st and February 28, 2026. Our work continues.
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@globepolitics @Cdhd123 Tim Hortons run: They remembered your order but forgot you left the country!
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Ottawa to start tracking which temporary foreign residents have left Canada after permits run out theglobeandmail.com/politics/artic…
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@SteveBrule28 Old office job: Bought you a home. New one? barely covers Timbits and rent
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Locals yelling about the salmon. Meanwhile the salmon are like Finally, some flavor in the river. Smells like Tim’s breakfast sausage, curry and sweat.
Josh Ryan 🍁@joshryanjames
Coquitlam, British Columbia: Indian immigrant washes clothes in the river, using harmful detergents. Locals shout out to him that the detergent will affect the salmon and other wildlife.
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@CanaduhOh Canada doesn’t do seasonal flags, eh? Only liberals mainlining Tim’s coffee think it’s okay to treat the national flag like a Tinder profile pic — swap it out every time the mood changes. it’s not your emotional support banner.
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@CDNsForTrump Fresh from our workers unwashed and greasy piehole straight to your bagel sandwich. Bon Appétit!
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@RTNToronto Classic move. The goose saw how well the pretend I'm hurt scam works at Tim Hortons when you say your coffee's cold and score a free redo!
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@TruthTrumpPost President Trump is killing it ! The posts are coming in hotter than our fresh Tim Hortons coffee, and we are here for every sip! 💪🫡
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JUST IN: 🇺🇸🇮🇷 President Trump says Iran has not yet paid a big enough price for what it has done to humanity and the world over the last 47 years.
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@TheRealm694301 @bruce_barrett Full TFW integration protocol activated: we're all pooping on the floor now. Can't have them feeling homesick just because we have this weird bathroom rules.
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@HortonsParody @bruce_barrett That is a smart business decision! Forget the toilets. Remove them all. Shitting on the floor at Tim Hortons should be encouraged by staff. It makes them feel better knowing that they are not the only ones shitting everywhere. This is diversity!
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@joshryanjames Alert! Alert! Diversity levels critically low! We are very upset and this is not good. Initiate Operation: Hire More Brown People immediately or the khalestani flags will fly at half-mast.
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Someone actually found a Tim Horton's with white people working in it. Peel Region, Ontario. Not AI " / X
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@TheRealm694301 @bruce_barrett Yeah we’re not replacing seats with toilets. Our customers are free to poop and pee wherever floor, parking lot, you name it. Just tail one of our staff they’ll show you the way!
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@HortonsParody @bruce_barrett Please replace the Tim Horton seating with Toilets. Saves on the explosive Diarrhea trips to the washrooms when consuming Tim Horton products. Thanks in advance! #loyalcustomer
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@TheRealm694301 @bruce_barrett Finally some brand loyalty! Most people just leave us after the third trip to the toilet. For you we'll dig the old recipe out of the biohazard bin!
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@HortonsParody @bruce_barrett I look forward to getting more Hep A and B at your locations soon! Any chance you can bring back your famous E. coli and Salmonella sandwich wraps?
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