Kelsey 🤙🪫🙃

Ohhhhh if this girl only knew what her future held... Her future: This exact situation two years later but with a different guy and even more extreme 😂😂😂

@KITKAT How could you do this to me? 😭😭😭 (The first 7 I bit into had no wafers, but I ate the first one because I wasn't expecting it to be an imposter 😭)

Hey @Ticketmaster, this is totally normal, super useful behavior for an app, right? Especially an app owned by a multibillion-dollar corporation who has literal unlimited resources they could put towards fixing said garbage app? Cool, thanks.

Yall I'm ngl, sometimes my lips look so good in pics I wonder how many people out there think I've had lip filler. And the answer is 0 because literally no one pays that close of attention, but still makes me feel good to think about 😂

Is the @DNC gonna pay me back for the $100 appointment I'm missing right now since they've blocked off the ENTIRE city and you literally cannot go South at all orrr??

TONIGHT I MADE OUT WITH ONE OF MY BIGGEST HIGH SCHOOL CRUSHES AND 14 YEAR OLD ME IS DYING OKAY BYE

@RiotFest Who the fuck thought this was a good idea

A sneak peek of RiotLand, with more fun to come soon. Now with parking. onlyatriotland.com

Can we all collectively manifest specifically just for me or is that not allowed? 🔮 Because there's this guy... 😂

3 different male friends of mine have randomly done/said things recently that made me feel like they might be interested in me, but nooo I have to be hung up on a guy I may never even hear from again. Make it make sense 😭😭😭

Currently [casually] dating the most emotionally stunted man I've ever met and I'm not sure how much more of his shit I can take 😬 Like, the sex is phenomenal, but idk if it's worth all this lmfao 😅

Literally everything that's wrong with my mental health can be tied back to/blamed on my sister. Like, that's great, but just once I'd love to uncover a different trauma just to ~spice things up~ 😂

I do not know what unfortunate discover was just made, but I am currently in the bathroom at work and I just heard a woman in another stall whisper to herself "No!" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@SaboGuevara More like Tumblr humor and whatever brand of modern humor has evolved from that. I can't find/remember what specific meme inspired this tweet, but here are some examples from the memes I've saved to my phone. They're not the best examples, but they're the first ones I found 😅

I have recently learned that my favorite brand of comedy is the kind that makes me laugh and then under my breath say "fucking stupid."

Hi, I'm Losing My Fucking Mind! And you're watching Disney Channel™

@ChipotleTweets Care to explain?

I'm just so fucking SAD. Like, yeah I'm depressed too, but that's a constant. Rn I am specifically sad and I am super over it.

Anyone else ever cry off a pimple patch? 😅😂

I've now had 2 AMAZING dates with a guy who so far has zero red flags and I feel like I'm gonna explode. I forgot what it was like to actually like everything about someone and be genuinely excited about them. Still early so trying not to get too invested but like... 10/10 🥰

Sitting here wondering how much of my personality is actually my personality, and how much of it is just trauma response. Gotta love rough therapy sessions 🙃