IgorillaRelationsGuru

@lilybrodi For sex, of course

to the married men: why did you marry your wife?

@BrentAWilliams2 Women are different

The only women that cannot orgasm are the ones that either have a medical problem or that suck at sex. It is not a men's issue that women cannot orgasm. Next.

@RealDianeYap I like to dig out nuts from my muesli and feed them to my wife like to a squirrel

Men are more romantic than women? Okay, challenge for men: name one thing that differentiates romance from friendship *other* than sex. Go on, I’m listening.

@Careerflex My Mom's parties in the 60ies, the moment one of her lady friends is out, all others total her, from her tasteless dress to her obnoxious children

When you marry a brunette foid, she will sometimes get a sore throat. She'll be very sad and it will be a very serious matter. It may get so bad that she appears like Konrad Curze as an anemic Victorian child lying there in her bed. It is up to you to take care of her, anon. When she complains about her sore throat, it is important that you say things like, "I got something for your throat right here". Then you produce a hot mug of honey lemon tea from behind your back. She will remember these unrehearsed kindnesses when she is well again, putting you in a superior position to the husbands of her retarded friends. But beware: some of these friends will secretly become consumed with jealousy that your foid has it better than they do and will work a long game to destroy her happiness. That is how feminism works.

@Nyct0phil3_x @smalltown_wife 4PM is a little bit to late, isn't it?

@smalltown_wife I don't get it either. Who cares when they wake up

I truly don’t understand parents who make their kids wake up for no reason if there’s no school, no job, and nowhere else to be. it’s summertime. they have the rest of their lives to wake up early. just let the kids sleep, for goodness’ sake

Hotel Manager: “Why is there a horse in Room 312?” Guest: “That’s Professor.” Hotel Manager: “I don’t care if he’s a professor.” Guest: “No, that’s his name.” Hotel Manager: “The horse’s name is Professor.” Guest: “Yes.” Hotel Manager: “Why is Professor in Room 312?” Guest: “He booked it.” Hotel Manager: “Horses can’t book hotel rooms.” Guest: “That’s what I said.” Hotel Manager: “Then who booked it?” Guest: “Professor.” Hotel Manager: “Sir.” Guest: “Fine. Technically, he clicked the button.” Hotel Manager: “What button?” Guest: “The booking button.” Hotel Manager: “On what?” Guest: “My laptop.” Hotel Manager: “You expect me to believe a horse made an online reservation?” Guest: “Accidentally.” Hotel Manager: “And paid?” Guest: “Also accidentally.” Hotel Manager: “With whose card?” Guest: “Mine.” Hotel Manager: “Of course.” Security Guard: “He’s telling the truth.” Hotel Manager: “How would you know?” Security Guard: “The reservation email says the guest’s occupation is ‘Horse.’” Hotel Manager: “…” Guest: “Professor is very honest.” Hotel Manager: “That doesn’t explain why he’s here.” Guest: “The reservation was non-refundable.” Hotel Manager: “So instead of canceling it, you brought the horse?” Guest: “It seemed wasteful not to.” Hotel Manager: “This is a luxury hotel.” Guest: “Professor appreciates luxury.” Hotel Manager: “No.” Guest: “He likes the tiny soaps.” Hotel Manager: “Absolutely not.” Security Guard: “There’s another issue.” Hotel Manager: “There’s always another issue.” Security Guard: “Room 312 ordered room service.” Hotel Manager: “Please tell me it wasn’t the horse.” Security Guard: “Twenty-seven apples.” Hotel Manager: “…” Guest: “That does sound like him.” Hotel Manager: “I want this horse out of my hotel.” Security Guard: “There’s one more thing.” Hotel Manager: “Why?” Security Guard: “The conference upstairs just voted Professor Employee of the Month.” Hotel Manager: “He’s not an employee.” Guest: “Try telling them that.” Conference Host: “Where is Professor? He’s scheduled to give the closing remarks.” Hotel Manager: “The horse?” Conference Host: “The horse.” Hotel Manager: “I’m quitting.” Professor: “Neigh.” Guest: “He says he’ll miss you.”

@BrentAWilliams2 @Zangief_B All commenters before and after this comment are gays 😹

@Zangief_B All sex before the age of 40 is homosexual sex.

Everyone with half a brain knows why good husbands aren’t getting enough sex, and it’s not because of the men.

@DiP11s @Nyct0phil3_x Oh those sweet Summer children 😹

@Nyct0phil3_x Gosh. She seems like she resents people being happy. Homework. Find some older guy who's still liking his wife (me if you see me in the wild). Tell him he is weak and dumb (and a simp) for being like that. It's fun seeing the old timers get a chuckle.

Omg she is still going. Anyway lets all laugh at the idea of me pretending to like sex due to being non confrontational and weak, two traits that definitely accurately describe me and my communication style 💀

@AviSipsTea @Nyct0phil3_x Yes, it's a nice feeling

@Nyct0phil3_x You know, if I ever get down about anything, it's so lovely to remind myself that there's people out there who are insanely upset because they're convinced my life is just too good to be true 🤣🤣🤣

@Jayseki @DerekPederson3 @emilykmay If a guy has a beautiful wife who likes sex

@DerekPederson3 @emilykmay right, exactly. like, if a guy has a young wife, he's going to want sex more often

MEN ONLY what frequency of sex, on average, would be the minimum at which sex would be a "non issue" (you don't think about it, it's not something you're trying to strategize how to get more of)

@harrrmy You've got no right to judge

i am fine with consenting adult age gap relationships of any kind as long as they look the same age

@lizisamused Don't post anything what can be used against you

People find it "fake" when couples only post happy things But why would you post negative stuff about your partner online?! You resolve issues with your partner, not by bitching about them in a public forum...

@aimeeterese It's their private business

They are lesbians (spiritually).

@nicoledemara255 @BattyDoll1 @RealPostFolder And what about buying condoms, is it gay too? 😹

@BattyDoll1 @RealPostFolder this is not really about egos but more like being seen as a pervert or secretly gay, any man did what you said he wouldn't be seen as a pervert or secretly gay for doing so, this is another category lady if a man doesn't buy you those things you said he doesnt love you no excuses

@RealPostFolder I see nothing wrong in buying lingerie for my woman

@AvacadoN @designmom @LocalWhitefish She is moral challenged

@designmom @LocalWhitefish You a dumb whore.

There is zero difference between miscarriage and abortion. In both cases, the woman’s body determines the pregnancy needs to end.

@Nicki31415Nick @FuckedUpYogis You are too smart and logical :)

@FuckedUpYogis Idk. Maybe it's my sarcastic posts from a male POV? Also I used to just go by "Nick" instead of "Nicki"

Trying to figure out whether this one anon mutual is a woman or a gay man. Let’s see how this goes.

@kronikcurtis @ManOfStxxx Exactly my point

@IgRelationGuru @ManOfStxxx Exactly. She lost desire. Fine. I lost an ex wife then. 😅😁 Easy to replace desire. They have this amazing app now, Tinder. Heard of it?

She didn’t marry a man she was never attracted to. She was 21 when they got together. She was into him. Something killed it & she told you exactly what it was. “I do feel I have had to mother him quite a bit and maybe that feeling is just finally catching up to me.” That’s the whole story right there. She became his mom. Once a woman starts managing you like a child (reminding you to do things, picking up after you, making every decision) she physically cannot see you as someone she wants to sleep with. It’s not a choice. Something in her just switches off. That’s why she finds him “gross” even though nothing changed. He didn’t get uglier. He didn’t cheat. He’s the same guy but she’s been wiping his face metaphorically for years and now his actual face disgusts her. The ick isn’t random. It’s the end result of mothering a grown man for too long. This man is about to lose his family and he probably thinks everything is fine because she never yelled at him. Run your own house. Handle your stuff without being told. The moment she starts managing your life like you’re her third kid, the countdown already started.

@Kristinartz Women need drama

Why do women choose toxic guys instead of nice and decent guys?

@itsnwts Why there're so many single moms?

HOT TAKE: Someone said “this is the first time in history women are dating men for their character. And that's why no one is dating.” and she was right.