Ocean Drive Slim

@knicks_tape99 He does this bit on purpose

Field sobriety tests are outdated & unconstitutional. The only fair way to test for a DUI is to play audio of my ex crying & show me the pic of her best friend from college wearing her slutty halloween costume, if I can't get hard within 5 minutes then fine me $25 & call me a cab

Shai Egregious Foulexander

Type of shit I’ll be on tmmrw

@SidKhurana3607 South of I-70 is southern (more accurately south of the Missouri River) but STL is a rust belt city and KC is the capital of the plains which construes a lot of arguments about the state

If you HAD to pick one: is Missouri a Southern or Midwestern state?

@vers_laLune @ExpatAftermath I’ve started to believe that my body conducts electricity in a different way than most. Or that I have evil sweatpants. I’m getting shocked too much

I feel like I havent gotten static shocked by anyone in like 20 years. what happened to that

@JoshLipnik Looks just like my old apartment in Naples

I walked by so many apartments like this in Phoenix I had to peek into one of the courtyards

One of the best videos I’ve ever seen

@Wronggrok @MrsGoresDiary Beautiful sentiment

Truly. One of the most profound thought provoking photographs that I have ever seen. The cat distribution system has sent me three cats all so different, gentle, kind and loving. I have read that our current science still doesn’t understand how cats eyes work and there’s some off beat theories about their eyes being transmitters to another dimension or place. Sometimes, I feel that when one of my cats will watch me intently or sit at the back patio doors watching the birds and squirrels, the leaves falling, the moss growing on the stone. And I think, they see all this and send it somewhere else. Perhaps to the God we both believe in. Perhaps to places that God built somewhere else that he wasn’t quite ready for us to know about when he sent the Bible to us. There’s so much I don’t know. But I do know that you captured one of God’s best creatures marveling at the miracle and goodness of fire here on earth with the magical, unexplainable eyes of a wondrous cat.

I spent $100 on this chair at a vintage show. I’d have spent $105 if I’d known our cat would routinely use it this way for fire-gazing.

@Stuckey2 Been a ref show

2nd time this year completely shorthanded Arkansas finds itself in OT

Chase Daniel. That guy rocked.

@SheffieldAllan Lived in that building during turn one summer , miss the days

God Bless America and the Missouri Tigers

. @EpicSpermer add it to the ideas list

I’m a man of simple pleasures. All I need is a six-pack of beer, a joint of good weed, a couple gummies, 30 mg of Adderall, 0.5 mg Klonopin, a pizza, some ketamine nasal spray, a Coke Zero, half gram of blow, a Perc 30, a mock draft simulator, NFL pro and I’m perfectly content.

The Second Amber Age

I get sick to my stomach thinking about how they treated that little monkey.

60° Friday + end of February means ghosting every girl I’ve been talking to this winter and deleting hinge

Another chud in the wall - Pink Foid

@nostalgiafkninc It depends entirely on your type of hair (not style but how dense vs stringy it is) but also instead of adding more chemicals (woman-coded) you can just use shampoo less and rely on your natural oils

I have a friend whose girlfriend used to buy him saltwater spray for his hair. Can anyone of you autistic fucks explain the benefits of this. Please and thank.