Daniel Kempe

It's so expensive to be alive

I bet the worst part of being a bike cop is having to bring criminals to the station on your pegs

All you need to be a successful English major is know how to use the word "juxtapose"

When i say "I'm not doing anything today" don't suggest things to do because it means I've specifically put aside time to doing nothing

This is for @Emm003 , 2 of the best looking men in jozi !

I experience on average about 30 awkward moments every time I walk through a shopping centre

That moment when u make a joke that every1 laughs at and u don't know weather to laugh with them or keep a straight face like "ye I'm funny"

No1 has less job security than a leading actor on game of thrones

Why does every become so deep on twitter, like gurus on love and life!

I asked Kanye West if he’d seen Inception & he opened the locket around his neck revealing a photo of me asking him if he’d seen Inception.

Man should not be judged by the color of his skin, but rather by the first song that comes on his iPod when you put it on shuffle.

Got far to many tv series to keep track of.

I dont mind you texting during a movie as long as you dont mind me creeping in your bedroom at 3am & doing Gangnam Style w a pack of hyenas.

I can do all things through Kanye West who strengthens me

The first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must have been like YOOO!

This new toothpaste got my teeth so white that now they won’t stop talking about Kindles & insist on shopping at Woolworths

Sushi buffet with @blane_96 @Its_brah_dan @TheRy_Stevens @slademitrovich too great

“@the_chris6: Don't DIG history @Its_brah_dan” if only we were born a thousand years ago we wouldn't have to learn it

Hi guys I'm your Crossfit instructor. First things first, everyone take out your phones and check-in at the gym on Facebook

I must confess I'm a very bias tea-maker,, I treat my cup way better than the cups of other people I'm making for