J Michael Scofield

@Thebiglade Bedbugs.

delete one animal from earth.

What would you do if you meet a girl today and she tells you her birthday is in 2 days?

Wekeni scaffolding hii jamaa iende space. Follow.

@hy_wemmy 3 idiots

Can you guys please recommend movie that made you cry??

@NewEraCFC When she says, "HERE WE GO." 😂

Not to be dramatic but consent is the real “HERE WE GO!” 🧠 If it’s a yes, it’s fun. If it’s a maybe, it’s a no. If it’s a no, you respect it like your club’s biggest rival. What’s your green flag in the bedroom?

@UTDTrey It's high time we place Trey in the same bracket of delusioness as Arsenal fans.

On a real though, I’ve never seen Messi score a freekick from this angle

@FabrizioRomano @ChelseaFC , I have a request. I know he's aged, but please bring him back. Let him train our youngsters.

🚨🐉 BREAKING: Thiago Silva leaves FC Porto with immediate effect. After winning another title and making history at Porto, Thiago says goodbye. Brazilian CB will now decide whether join another club as free agent or retire from professional football.

@g4na_xo And Homelander could've killed Butcher any time in the series, but, to quote Homelander himself, "What's the fun in that?"

I don't think girls realize that they literally have a 100% success rate if they shoot their shot first

@NewEraCFC ....carried how you ask? How about that Doku tackle on Maccalister? That should've been a pen and a red card. I am still pissed about that to this day. 🤦‍♂️

@NewEraCFC They're gonna claim it anyway, same way they took over 10 draws in the league in 04 and called it Invincible. I think there's one thing fans we need to accept. PL winners are determined by the authorities in the league, and not the players on the pitch. Like City got carried.

History gets rewritten. Sometimes it’s incomplete; sometimes it’s a flat-out lie. That’s why I’m putting this here: when Arsenal fans claim “no pens, no reds in 38 games” as some flawless record, remember what really happened—rugby tackles on keepers, elbows on strikers, fake injuries, dives to win calls. This is an EDI trophy—handed over by PGMOL just to swap the name on it. Arsenal weren’t flawless or spectacular; they were gifted it. The refs played along.

@DanielSmidstrup Guide it.

If AI builds everything for you, what’s your real job?

@kapilansh_twt Google Sheets. 💀

hey devs, what database did you use in your first project ?

@CPFC Do us a favor...

Arsenal are next at Selhurst 🔜

@NewEraCFC Definitely, Boss. Chelsea has Xabi. Please send me some Xabi my way. 😁

@JMichaelSclj 🤣🤣🤣we have to work on that

Relationships are like football tactics: If you only play defence, you’ll still concede. If you only attack, you’ll get countered. Communicate, set boundaries, show love consistently. What’s one “small thing” that keeps your relationship strong?

@_dxllz7 Pay.

Fastest way to get a girlfriend

@Ongesa128188 Swali tu wadau and wadaudess. 😂😂 How do you take someone unampeleka kwako? And after you convince them, unaweza aje kukaa apo na stranger in your own place? 😂😭

Malaya niliokota Saturday pale habanos ameanza kukaa comfortable kwangu. Nimeamka nikapata amedungia my expensive jersey na ako kitchen anapika breakfast. Msee wa nduthi mwenye ako Kimbo please dm me. Nalipa 2k unifikishie hii gaidi Rongai.

@CFC_OBED Yeah man. Let our players rest. We gotta complete next season, I don't want to support any other teams to stop a team from winning. Let's support our own.

To my dear Chelsea brothers and sisters , don’t stress yourself about this Joao Pedro - Brazil brouhaha. We will be here when they get eliminated and everyone will be saying they should have gone to the World Cup with Joao Pedro leading the lines . Football fans are like chameleons, opinions will soon shift . You know the good thing ? This boy hasn’t had any rest since he joined us in the club World Cup and has been ever consistent throughout the season . Get some rest , refill and get ready for Alonso ball next season.

@NewEraCFC @CFC_OBED Not rest, practice. He plays like his legs are dead. His creativity dropped. What happened? 😕

@CFC_OBED That would do him a lot of good. He needs to rest.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Cole Palmer is also left out of the England squad on Friday

@ManUtd Elviz 10 please

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