Jack Bates

Stop making shite albums lad @kanyewest

@nufc_ticket @NSpares Let me know if you’ve not managed to sell em on mate. I’m near the ground now

@NUFCEdge Woltemade been getting away with it for a good while tbh. Doesn’t attack space and I don’t think I’ve seen him have a shot in anger yet.

You won’t see a worse derby performance than Elanga as long as you live. Followed closely by Woltemade. Absolutely awful.

@RossTweetsGames That game was hard as fuck

I love details like this… but let’s not forget that the GOAT Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue did it first! I am Buzz!

@NSpares @NUFC Why the fuck am I failing in the ballot for tickets and then there’s spares online the day of the game?

Still loads of spares on the official website too btw! Contact @NUFC only 😂

@nufctrust apologies as I’m sure this will have been asked before. After failing in the ballot again (obviously), how many tickets are allocated to the members general sale? Seems even as a relatively low position of sub 500th the only tickets are the premium packages. Thank you

@S0uthernGe0rdie Meet me for a scrap

Close to £140m Ramsey Elanga Wissa End of October - 0 goals, 0 assists. It’s absolutely the reason why Sir Edward needs to be removed from transfers. #NUFC

Certain man are certain man

Annoyed at how good that is

@FootyAccums Dan burn and Jacob Murphy header in final. What you on about?

Newcastle Utd's official statement on selling Alexander Isak. No mention of his significant contribution to winning their first trophy in 70 years... OUCH! 😳

@Renegadebastard How much autism can you fit into one stadium

Embarrassing. Someone needs to keep tabs on him. Sat near him a few times at the Moat and last time he caused me to sit as far as humanely away as possible

@FabrizioRomano We are fucking massive

🚨⚪️⚫️ Newcastle United have agreed deal to sign England U16 talent Isaac Moran after he left Liverpool. Agreement done and signed with Moran due to become #NUFC player officially in the upcoming days. Seen as potential top CB for the future by Newcastle Academy.

Scruffs @LFC

@indykaila @LFC Shut up ya fat scruff

Think our next update at 8pm will cause 🧨 in Newcastle. @LFC fans will be happy. As we stated, too many leaks on this saga. We never seen anything like it 🚨

@StanCollymore Shut up ya scruff

Liverpool and Manchester are football destinations. Newcastle isn't. And I'm not giving you an opinion, I'm telling you from people who've played for Newcastle who went elsewhere at or near their peak. I'd live in Gosforth or Jesmond any day of the week, but I'm telling you that both the goldfish bowl of a one club city alongside seeing players you know in London or the greater north West means when it comes to it, players have and will leave. I'm here to give you insight based on facts, and until Newcastle can blow clubs financially out of the water ( offer Isak treble his current salary, for example), then the reality of Newcastle as a location is just that. A reality. One you may nor like or accept, but a reality.

@Renegadebastard Had me on the ropes that gaff

Badly underestimated GoApe today. Father Time catching up with me

I have tried Robert Prevost impression Pope Leo XIV What do you all think?

@Renegadebastard Oh my god you poor bastard

It’s happening

@Renegadebastard Time to be a orrrrrrible centre half

@JackBates9 them ladyboys given you a new lease of life

Defeat on Tyneside. #MUFC || #NEWMUN