Jacob Corsaro

Kinda sucks how the ONE YEAR I have a date to Toyotathon it gets cancelled ://

@uhaul Y’all seein this?

#WatchWithUS Chapman is all over this one youtu.be/RtaAI1yhZ2w

Here’s what we know: •A woman says “I need 6 eggs” •A man responds “that’s too expensive” •Gaston later recounts “when I was a lad I ate 4 dozen eggs every morning to help me get large” •He goes on to explain he now has 5 dozen/day Gaston is HOARDING eggs and driving up cost

What’s the best way to approach a woman I don’t know well? (For context, the woman is Bryce Dallas Howard and I want to see if she’ll go halvsies on a Taco Bell franchise with me)

Someone should tell him to “shut up and dribble”

Ayyy Giuseppe! What happened? You got in a rumble with Punocello’s kid? He beat yourface into a bolognese. Grab some marinara ice from the freezer and put it on your eye—caspita!

Mike’s face gets covered by a Q-Anon “Q” and he’s thrilled to be in the papers I wouldn’t bother with this one folks

Oh boy—I’m being told the climax of the movie comes when Sully makes an impassioned case that “Corporations should have the same rights as Monsters” Feels like there is a heavy handed influence on the story line

Devestated to announce the third installment in the Monsters Inc franchise will feature Mike and Sully as lobbyists schmoozing with Monstropolis politicians (spoiler Randall is the Majority Leader). Working title is “Mongressional Gridlock” Look, I’m as bummed as you are

@ALLCAPSMARIE Might buy it back off her

@JacobCorsaro They probs saved them in a plastic baggy

The person cutting my hair spent the whole time complimenting my curls and then?? decided to?? cut them all off???

He’s relentless.

Mhm. Likely story—well too little too late pal!!

Tired of women only liking me for my new wireless MagSafe car charger (Practicing this for when it is inevitably going to dominate my relationships)

I am, unfortunately, going through my LMFAO phase in present day. Asking for privacy at this time.

youtu.be/l7C7ZIw5Roo #thursdayvibes

Just saw a commercial for Nevada—guess I’ll go there

Sorry, Disney’s “Brave” but Luca has the best hair in Disney/Pixar history (unbiased opinion)

YOU SHOULD BE UPSET THAT I HAD A LAUGH WITH HER!!! -Me after the Wendy’s manager reprimands me for drawing a mustache on the logo’s face

When I get invited on a 48 month cruise