Sheriff Jake Marshall

made myself one of them strawpages. bigironofjustice.straw.page tell me if it looks good, amigos.

@angel_appetite mae's one that came 'ta mind.

me! no one else that comes to mind…

@coffeesnmb1fan reminds me. one time, i was out on a date with the missus, and pearl asked if she could give me a big hug. y'know, because plushie. she ended up giving me a little ribbon. damn near died of cuteness overload.

@JakeMarshall294 She really is. She's a great kid, I love her to death.

Pearl Fey

@angel_appetite Well.. if.. 'ya need a lass to talk to, I'm sure my wife'd be open to speakin'..

@JakeMarshall294 eventually, probably.

FUCK

@angel_appetite ..You need somebody ta' talk to?

@JakeMarshall294 …yeah. something.

@angel_appetite Your dress looks real good, bambina. I tried gettin' Mae to wear hers, but she insisted on the badger costumes...

someone bumped into me and i nearly spilt my drink all over my beautiful dress but it’s okay because i didn’t but this wouldn’t have happened if my husband were here

Does anyone hear that sound of a.. chico cryin'?

@PaulAtishonW well, hot damn, Atishon, you know how to throw one helluva party! And i'm only sayin' that 'cause Mae's havin' the time of 'er life.

Guess what time it is? That is RIGHT my fellow citizens! Peanut butter, party time!

@PaulAtishonW she calls errythang cute. she one time called a cockroach cute.

@JakeMarshall294 I’m… cute?

Heh heh heh, party at my place! We’re in for one GRANDPARTY! Tomorrow marks my Grandfather— Abe Atishon’s, 67th trip around the sun. In honor of his great deeds, we open the estate to people like you! Yes, YOU! Join us NOW! Or forever hold your peace.

@PaulAtishonW Y'er lucky my wife thinks you're cute like a kitty, or I wouldn't be goin'.

@JakeMarshall294 Ah. First time for everything!

@RayShields82 Y'can just ask me to mediate.

can I borrow a spirit medium to channel my former boss? one of the paralegals asked me a question I didn’t know the answer to and I don’t know who to escalate it to.

@chokekraft Uh...? Thanks, bambino. The missus will love this.

@JakeMarshall294 Your.. h-eheh.. your "costume" is ready.. Thanks for your, ehm.. p-patronage....

@IN_JUSTUCE Lookin' good, Bright-bino.

#New_profile_picture Thanks to @Potterylottery

i love my wife

@snackoosoffical @angel_appetite just don't like it, personally.

@JakeMarshall294 @angel_appetite Why are we cancelling a bird?