Jeff Bodart

It is impossible to buy toilet paper in a quantity that doesn’t make it look like you’re celebrating “Shit Fest ‘22” at your house.

I’m actually kind of surprised we haven’t heard a statement issued “If you send us some nudes we’ll give you an extra three days to file your taxes.”

Been trying to check in for my flight on @AmericanAir and it keeps saying, “Our system is having trouble.” Yeah yeah. No surprise there.

@taskeet @AmericanAir See what I’m talking about @AmericanAir ???

@AmericanAir @JeffBodart currently also unable to check in for my flight on the app and none of the website pages work

Hey @AmericanAir is there a reason your app and website have sucked balls the last few days?

@AmericanAir So when I have to fly again very soon, will it be fixed?

@JeffBodart We see you have boarded your second flight for departure. Please DM if assistance is needed.

@AmericanAir Well the app wouldn’t let me look up or check into my flight. See screenshot above. Then I used the website to check in. It emailed me one boarding pass but not the other one. And that page now longer exists. Again, see additional tweet for screenshot. I’m using a newer iPhone.

@JeffBodart We're not aware of anything going on with our app. Can you let us know what you're trying to do, and what type of device you're using?

Yeah. My boarding passes surely have taken flight. Yeah yeah, because a pun never makes anyone furious.

@SenTedCruz @247bling247 You voted against funding TSA yesterday.

I bet John Fetterman was the kid who told everyone he had a treehouse with a tv and a fridge in it but he had to take it down because the neighbors were mad it was nicer than their house.

Hey @gmail @Google you tell me my account has reached 80% pooled storage. I have deleted tons and tons of emails and I started paying for extra storage. How in THE hell am I already approaching 80%?! Unless maybe this is a corporate way to pump me for more effing money.

@TonyLaneNV Are you new here?

NEW: Wow… apparently this is what the theater looked like after the Oscars ended last night. Trash everywhere. Drinks left behind. Food boxes scattered across the rows. Hard to believe this is how some of the biggest celebrities in the world leave a venue. What do you think… disrespectful or just part of big events? ⬇️ 🇺🇸

Current vibe:

@hwinkler4real I love them. My favorite vegetable next to broccoli.

NO NO NO

I recorded a special for @OpenBarComedy and one of the clips has been viewed 816k times. That’s pretty cool.

@SenatorCollins Nice private event. Why haven’t you had a town hall in 26 years?

Oof. I just saw his pictue. Kid Rock is aging like an open can of tuna

First show is sold out! Should they add a second show for Feb 14, at Castle Finn Vineyard & Winery, Inc in Marshall, IL?? Get on the list! Text Sonya at 217-712-0253

My special comes out tonight on @OpenBarComedy youtu.be/UECl98pLCiQ