Jessica

@paulanthjones Mine makes me feel very cool

This is the single most pathetic moment of my entire life

My aunt: It is impossible to imagine that my mother, who lost her parents & became orphaned at 7, fought against Hitler with the Russian people, had to hide in a haystack from Nazi German soldiers, today, at the age of 85, is hiding in the basement in Kyiv from Russian soldiers.

Gerbils don’t need a driver’s license Otters don’t need a National Insurance card Badgers don’t need a national record of Achievement

What the fuck was I doing on this day in 2009?

To my trans followers: please remember there are many, many people who don’t believe your mere existence is ‘divisive’ or that you are a ‘danger to women’ or any equivalent nonsense and that the T is as important and valued as all the letters in LGBTQI+ 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

@TheMollyBurnt It’s a parlour palm, they’re pretty hard to kill but agree I think that guy needs some respite from direct sunlight!

@Ionaffc I think it genuinely shocks them haha, what a simple life 😂

@JessJessWoo Bella does this a the time!!

Does anyone else’s dog fart and then stare in shock at their arse as though it isn’t anything to do with them?

@ffcmoleman Exactly! Oh I bet you’re straight down the Cecil 😂

@JessJessWoo That’s more bullshit. If your abroad and drinking from a tap you deserve a body in the water. If I’m honest if I ever go LA though....

Watching the vanishing at the Cecil hotel and I’m in love with the couple who paid absolute sweet FA for a hotel in downtown LA for 2 weeks without actually looking at the place and apparently were genuinely shocked that it turned out to be a shithole on skid row. 10/10 optimism

@Bizzle301987 Hahaha so weird when something ridiculously cheap turns out to actually be shite. Blows my mind

@JessJessWoo 😂😂 couple of real bargain hunters them two.

@ffcmoleman I mean what could possibly go wrong?? To be fair pretty unlucky to be drinking water from a tank with a body in it, hardly something you can check on tripadvisor

@JessJessWoo I was so happy I got a hotel for 45p a night I didn’t bother seeing what it looked like

@AWrightstuff So pleased that things are looking brighter. And very brave to be so open and direct on social media, so you should feel proud to possess that courage!!

It’s a sin has to be one of the best pieces of tv ever made, even though it literally broke my heart about 20 times in 5 episodes.

Kalief Browder allegedly stole a backpack at 16, spent 3 yrs at Riker's Island without trial. Riley Williams stole a laptop from Speaker Pelosi's office and tried selling it the Russians. She was released to her mother There are two justice systems in America #BlackLivesMatter

I know this is a first world problem but why the fuck has Ocado given me 26 coupons for a myriad of different types of tampons and cat food? I have literally never owned a cat and I have interests other than my own menstrual cycle, but thanks anyway.

My toxic trait is that I secretly especially like the episodes of grand designs where the couple has split up by the time it’s finished

@ChescyDee Greatest missed opportunity of my life so far 😂😂

Decided to sell the half-size dishwasher that was in my flat when I moved in (2017) as I never use it. It’s worth £190 brand new, so tried my luck & listed it for £100. Today someone has driven from WOLVERHAMPTON (I live in SW london) & given me £100 for it!?