John Jaques

amazon.co.uk/I-Didnt-Mean-K… This is my collection of short stories. Trigger warning for bad things and terrible usage of commas.

Funeral music choice made. Atmosphere by Joy Division on the way in, Atmosphere by Russ Abbot to exit.

About 6 years ago I made this stupid 'graphic novel'. I put it on Amazon to buy for £1.99. Today I received an email from Amazon informing me that my royalties were being paid. 70p! Not bad for only one sale.... ....Reader, I bought that copy. amazon.co.uk/Teatime-Club-B…

I will be whispering into the abyss on johnjaques.bsky.social

@archivetvmus71 Not surprised the cricket didn't work out with that bowling action.

Leonard Rossiter profiled in Buddy (13th February 1982).

@tomgauld @GuardianBooks The Batman is often unable to focus, whether it be a good book or a bad (cat) woman.

My cartoon for this week’s @GuardianBooks

@TheLincoln Strong agree. Though I still haven't got past the first line in Proust yet...

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who scrunch the cereal bag up and carefully close the cardboard flaps. And then there's the monsters, the absolute monsters.

@Bob_Fischer The whole band were great...Full autograph set on the Miaow album.

Can confirm Paul Heaton is ace and didn't bat an eyelid in 1994 when my mate @JohnJaques and I collared him for ages on the stairs of the Arena club in Middlesbrough. I had this photo stuck to the wall of my old 1990s record shop and everyone used to ask if it was Robin Williams.

Without Googling, give me a Shakespeare quote.

Drinking slightly over Malbec paired with hula hoops and some cheese, listening to 6 music's indie for ever and re-reading Douglas Coupland's Generation X. This is one of the best nights of my life.

Watching The Colditz Story on Film 4...What a cast. So many familiar faces but I'm afraid most of their names escape me.

@Northern_Soul_ My favourite barber shop pun...Barber of Neville on Neville street Durham.

A hairdressing salon in Todmorden. Marvellous.

@Bob_Fischer My neck of the woods. Did you get to Newchurch?

With Alice Nutter in Roughlee.

Last night I dreamt I was in a cafe, completely naked and I ordered a baked potato, which is strange as I would very rarely order a baked potato.

@jed_cope Really liked some of the lines in this. "A headache of a man"

Latest short story… Some wedding guests are a wee bit reluctant to attend! blog.reedsy.com/short-story/6i…

Ok, I’m going in

@Wordsworthians @GuardianBooks Keats really captured what Autumn means to all of us.

Keats's marvellous ode 'To Autumn', from @guardianbooks theguardian.com/books/booksblo…

I wish I had half the insouciance of the man I saw on the number 48 bus who unwrapped and ate a full soreen loaf like it was a god damn banana.

There's so little time for anything these days. So little time. Therefore it's important to focus on the important stuff, like working out which biscuit would be Keyser Soze.