JohneRandom

@LagrimaChristi @alphafox My apple watch tells me good job when I ride my e-bike and I am like -- what? I didn't even break a sweat! time to start counting calories again and walking. -sigh- but, e-bikes are fun for sure.

@Johnerandom_ @alphafox Yes, agreed, and also he is fat because he eats too much and uses an ebike, which is an excuse for not doing any real exercise.

Who is the real Karen here - 🤔 Biker refuses to use the grass to avoid pedestrians on the sidewalk. Pedestrians get annoyed he is making them move, yet he insists he has the right of way.

@MarkBunch831 @alphafox He made a choice to stop and argue... If he did everything right - then why not move along and ignore dad?

@realshaunmason @alphafox Fat Fuck could have taken the grass just like dad said. I am a fat fuck and I have an ebike -- I don't fuck with dogs or people walking. Side by side -- it's not difficult to go in the grass, even for a fat fuck like me. Takes no time and very little effort.

@Johnerandom_ @alphafox Did you watch the video? He rang the bell & said “on your left”. That’s proper etiquette. The dad is the one who started shit saying “you could have rode on the grass”. Which is a stupid suggestion when he can just move over a hair.

@barrycunningham If I lived in Florida, I'd be eating mahi mahi so much I would have a half pound of mercury in my belly by the end of the first year!! :)

People ask me: What is South Florida really like? Me: People living their best lives!

Tap into the Mississippi and Missouri rivers and help areas do better during droughts with more reservoirs, and help refill the U.S aquifers. -- 4.4 million gallons of fresh water from the Mississippi river flow into the Gulf of America every SECOND. Help manage the water with massive fresh water pipelines!

Boring Company’s goal is to solve traffic in cities and one day build Hyperloop high-speed transit between city centers

@saniyafatma1278 Thumbtack is a great app - tell them what ya want, send the pics and then approve or dont. Done.

I'm losing my mind. I called a handyman to fix this one small hole. He had the nerve to quote me $600! For what?! A $20 patch kit from Home Depot? He's trying to tell me he has to 'cut a new square,' 're-tape the seams,' and 'paint the entire wall' to blend it. What a joke! Does he really think I'm that dumb?! He's just trying to scam me into paying for a full day's work for a 30-minute job.

@MatrixMysteries Dear whiners, Life aint easy.. the loudest seagulls don't get more morsels - they just annoy the fuck out of everyone. This lady needs to shut the fuck up and drain the boil on my ass so she can have her steak dinner. Life is hard for many people.

“If I can’t afford a home, who the hell can?” Registered nurse. No debt. 808 credit score. She did everything right — and STILL got priced out. That’s not a broken dream. That’s a RIGGED system.

@washghost1 Onions are fairly inexpensive.. but, if you want to grow them in your gutters... hey - you do you.

Using your bare hands is definitely a choice

@TheOfficerTatum If I could move like that I would. As long as they are not delaying the procession. who gives af. If you're a parent, basically it goes like this... Once your kid walks - you are done with the whole boring program and want the F out of there... Just ask Mr. Adams, he knows.

Once again, it's clown season 🤡 ...and unemployed season isn't far behind 👋🏾

@BredsguardDalen My First thought?

What are your thoughts on this new house style?

@MatrixMysteries For most federal student loan borrowers, there was a historic 0% interest period for 3.5 years (42 months). It began on March 13, 2020, and ended September 1, 2023 What an opportunity to decrease debt! But oh yeah- the Biden promise of forgiveness.. sigh

An American checks her student loans. She borrowed $49,548.74. After 120 payments, she’s paid $25,558.36. Her current balance? $50,121.33. After PAYING $25k… she now owes MORE than she originally borrowed. This isn’t aid — it’s legalized USURY.

@AmericaPapaBear 6 observations off the top of my head.

Real Men Fix Shit Listen up, fellas. This is what being the man of the house actually looks like. Split 2x4? No problem. Rope, hammer handle, two nails, and some wire, and it’s stronger than before. No fancy clamps. No hardware store run. Just old-school American know-how and elbow grease. Real skills. Save it, practice it, teach your sons. Real men rig it and fix it. Drop a 🔥 if you’re built different.

She should not have that ear bud in her ear. If it falls out onto a pizza, it becomes a food contaminant. Matter of fact - it sort of looks like a mushroom. Probably what happened to her other one... it's in some kids stomach, because he barely chews his food. Moral of the story? Mushrooms are better sautéed in butter with a steak than on a pizza.

Woman keeps her composure as two customers try to get a refund for food they already ate. When offered store credit they get infuriated, telling the Domino's employee that she's being unprofessional Isn't it common sense to bring the item if you expect a refund?

@madammarsh @Jennife34195249 @MargoMartin47 @realDonaldTrump 😆 I don't know? Maybe someone got confused. The boss said bring another bottle opener and someone had wine on their mind? Technically, the corkscrew is a bottle cap opener also. There is a reason the turning part of a corkscrew is shaped the way it is.

@Johnerandom_ @Jennife34195249 @MargoMartin47 @realDonaldTrump But why did someone bring that as opposed to another regular bottle opener?

President @realDonaldTrump asked the White House chef to make breakfast sandwiches for the press who are viewing the ballroom construction this morning 🇺🇸

@Jennife34195249 @MargoMartin47 @realDonaldTrump It's a paperweight so the napkins don't got flying away

@MargoMartin47 @realDonaldTrump What is the corkscrew for? ❤️🇺🇸

@TheEXECUTlONER_ Get a kid... it'll clean and fertilize all spring and summer and then you can have a BBQ when all the grass and weeds are gone.

This man called this lawn service company to mow his yard front and back and weed eat it. Looks like the yard hasn’t been mowed or maintained in quite awhile. 💯 The lawn service guy quotes him $200. The man doesn’t seem pleased and thinks that’s high. 🤯 The lawn service guy tells him to maybe call around and see if he can get a cheaper quote. Not sure what rate that man was expecting. Do you think $200 is too high for all that? So you think it is too low for that? What do you think is a fair price would be?

@elonmusk When every construction worker has clean reflective gear on, and brand new non scuffed hard hats without names or stickers on them.. It makes me wonder if it's everyone's first day on the job, or who's doing all the work? Where are all the sunburn & dirty, butt crack people?

@ClownWorld I been solving peoples problems on the internet since Windows 95... The problems keep getting dumber and dumber.

@Insane_News_ @alphafox Yeah... that "should of" should have been a Should've. It's a fairly common mistake amongst, retarded folks like me. Sorry I failed to earn your generous reward. I mean, why else post on social media, except to get approval from people I could give two fucks about?

@Johnerandom_ @alphafox If you had said "she should have used a screwdriver," I would've given you a like. That being said, you're both retarded.

If there was only an invention, which would all you to clean the floor using water, without making a mess. 🤔