Jonathan

My golden retriever loves eating socks and @amazon packages when we don’t get to them fast enough. So imagine his delight this week when I ordered socks on Amazon.

Nothing has refused to follow inflation and yet has gone completely unquestioned over the last couple decades as the $1million dolars on survivor has.

The school to my kids: 56 days until pink shirt day! Don’t forget to prepare. (Time lapse) My kids: Dad it’s 56 minutes until pink shirt day!

The Mets won their series last night in NY at Citi Field. The fact that there is MetLife stadium in NY, and that’s NOT where the Mets play, shows the wrong people are running this world. #opportunitymissed #NYMets

The fact we had the chance to call them cockadoodles and instead called them cockapoos shows the wrong people are running this world.

Was I very productive this week? No. But was I able to rest and relax? Also no. But was I gentle with myself about all of this? No

@Ford Your F150 looks like it’s from an episode of Is It Cake!

@KelseyMLoo I have not felt this heard in my life

I saw an IG Reel that said something along the lines of “women have no idea how often the men in their lives think about the Roman Empire.” So I asked my husband: “How often do you think about the Roman Empire?” And without missing a beat he said “Every day.” YALL! Why!?

An email from @AirCanada- We’re having a sale on flights Me- great I need to book this flight Air Canada- That one’s full price.

Has a 4th string QB ever played in a conference championship before? #49ersvsEagles

Happy Friday to everyone except the people who will end their workday today going around offices saying “see you next year”!

@BenForemanSCC @Crocs I feel like there’s a bigger lesson here for you about not wearing Crocs

@AirCanada : (email) flights are on sale, any time, any place, book now! Me: Great I need a flight @AirCanada : yeah not that one

@DonOrsillo @MLB @RedSox @NESN The “tooth hurty” game is still one on my favourite memories of you guys. RIP Remy. You guys were the best together.

Thank you for 21 years of friendship. I am nowhere today without you. Showed me the right @MLB way. I know I will text you 3 times a day still. I am lost. #RIPRem @RedSox @NESN

My daughter talks a pretty tough game for someone that can’t buckle herself in

Do people that own horses say “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse” or do they find that figure of speech offensive?

not to brag, but the county sheriff just called my warrant "outstanding" in front of the *whole* cell!

If my inbox is almost full, why do you complicate the matter more by telling me through EMAILS SENT TO MY INBOX!!! @Microsoft

@daviddeweil Great call out. 👉

you’re done with college now it’s all emails, action items and circling back from here on out

@amazon Walter this is him last weekend on his first birthday.

@JonathanandBall Your 🐕 + 🧦 + 📦 = being socked with surprise! 😄 Can you tell us your pup's name?

My golden retriever loves eating socks and @amazon packages when we don’t get to them fast enough. So imagine his delight this week when I ordered socks on Amazon.