Lindsay Phelps

I need a new pinned tweet.

Adding insult to injury...

This is NOT what America is about. America is about *opens history book* uh oh *Frantically starts flipping though pages* uh oh. oh no. no no no. uh oh

I don't want to do this again.

@CarisAdel I have a three hour class tomorrow night and could not be more grateful lol

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin???

Man sits by me on train. MAN: Loads of psychopaths around here ME: Really? MAN: Loads mate ME: How'd you know? MAN: There's signs aren't there? ME: I guess? MAN: I love them (47 minutes of awkward silence.) Man leaves train, he has a bike. I realise he was saying 'cycle paths'.

…do you guys not realize that diddy was incredibly famous, therefore knew almost everyone and threw many parties that were likely JUST parties? yes, people have photos with him who had no idea what he was up to and certainly weren’t involved. these witch-hunts remove focus from the ACTUAL villain. abusers do not abuse everyone. they cannot abuse everyone. they rely on good relationships with many, to get away with abusing the few.

4 and a half years Novid. It was a good run, I guess *sigh*

@nypost @RacismDog

Haitian motorist making illegal turn in Springfield, Ohio, smashes into mom driving with autistic daughter trib.al/Nd9Xcgs

I just learned that J. D. Vance is YOUNGER THAN ME. I cannot process this.

Thanks @SCE for scheduling "routine maintenance" for 6 hours on one of the hottest days of the year instead of literally any other day of the much cooler week. Great job, as always. 👍

I love this very much.

My favorite part of Cancel Culture is when canceled celebrities get their own streaming specials where they get paid millions to complain about being cancelled and out of work

Lol no.

I was born in CA and have lived here for 35 of my 40 years. I've been hearing what a nightmarish, falling-apart-at-the-seams hellhole it is the entire time. Statements like this just make me chuckle now. CA certainly has its flaws, but so does every other damn state in the US.

I've said this before, but it's kind of hilarious how the same conservatives who say they want men to be men and women to be women get incredibly mad when women have fun in a stereotypically feminine manner Is there any way women could act where you wouldn't hate them?

@majordouzie Do you have to thaw the dough first or can it go straight into the oven?

@rainbowruff Coney Island as a state is the best part.

map of the USA: filled by a canadian You guys have too many states, please stop

I love how inflamed people get about Ella emhoff. It’s such a great litmus test of whether you perceive young women as people or as decoration. It doesn’t matter what she looks like, because she’s not dressing for you. A lot of men can’t stand this,