Susan

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@notcapnamerica This looks so staged. The woman with the "big dog" kept randomly falling down for no reason, and couldn't get back up. Shame on ALL of them for flinging that poor little dog around by the neck

If you can’t control a dog that large you shouldn’t have it. Because if I’m out walking mine and Beethoven starts attacking my cocker spaniel I’m yeeting his ass and it’s going to be your fault.

@TheBertShow $30 a week?! That's $4 a day for "personal money", before taxes? 😆 I would turn bargain shopping and coupon clipping into a full time job, and pocket "my earnings". Then I would either find a job or a new husband.

Her husband gives her $30 a week in allowance and she needs a pay raise...how would you ask for it? link.chtbl.com/thebertshow

@notcapnamerica Oh my word! If anyone did this to my child, I would be in jail for assault also...happily.

Y’all would have to bail me out of jail 😡

@POTUS I paid off my student loans. It took me 10 years after my degree. I was grateful the government had very low interest loan programs w/ gradual repayment plans, giving me the ability to get a loan & obtain my education. Maybe lower the interest rates again.

Unthinkable. This fight isn’t over. I’ll have more to announce when I address the nation this afternoon.

@enews They did stand by her, by losing billions of dollars and not apologizing for the campaign.

Dylan Mulvaney explains her experiences following her Bud Light collaboration.

@PicturesFoIder Because no one wants to do fractions or math for 1 degree. Celcius is all "It's .55555555 degrees out!" or "It's 26.66667!" (For reference, that's 1 degree to 80 degrees) Fahrenheit: We gotchoo, 1 degree does matter...

@notcapnamerica Lordy, any of them judging any other's kids, relationships or hustle is hilarious.

Kenya spilled that tea on the reunion. Y’all thought she was joking?

@MegStEsprit That's odd. So all the moms you've interviewed have been stay-at-home moms, and their job is to do the mom stuff and errands? I'm a solo mom and run my own business. I would be interviewed in my home office too. I don't think it's fair to shame the money-earners.

Nearly every interview I’ve done w/moms this week has kids popping in to say hi, moms still in gym clothes and sweaty, calls from cars or closets (me too!), or a pause to make a snack. Every man I’ve interviewed was in a quiet office space and was not interrupted once.

@adrianasmojito Yes! There's women who just exude "sexy", like Susan Sarandon or Sofia Vergara, without even trying.

Am I the only one that feels like no matter how much she plays the sex stuff up, she's like the unsexiest person ever? I almost get asexual vibes from her

@MsChrissyBrown This is like saying if someone steals a car, they shouldn't have to go to jail, it was just a mistake. The "crime" she committed was emotional abuse and lying, and she was fully aware of what she was doing. Getting yelled at really isn't that bad of a punishment.

@picklenut @CNN They didn't live in a rental, it was a vacation VRBO.

@CNN Why does it matter that they lived in a rental?

A 4-year-old girl who wandered away from the Florida rental home where her family had been staying was found dead in a canal, authorities say cnn.it/42hGfat

@ADHDrunsme858 @notcapnamerica No, she's saying because Chick-fil-A makes fried chicken, this makes them "inclusive". She's basically saying the ONLY thing black people eat is fried chicken. As if Chick-fil-A didn't sell fried chicken, *they* would ALL be at a some chicken place.

Did....did she really just say what I think she said?

@Cathy2NotToday School killed the holiday. At least in my Florida county and the surrounding counties, school ended this Thursday. Seniors are graduating and there's all kinds of graduating activities, both at the end of the week, this weekend, and next week. No one has time for the holiday.

@RonFilipkowski I think what he meant to say was "Please vote for Trump, who -at a minimum- pretended he didn't hate 1/2 of America."

Desantis says Good Morning: “I will serve two terms, and I will be able to destroy leftism in this country.”

@TMZ @TooFab I cry myself to sleep sometimes too. But not because I'm raising my kids solo, mostly because I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to figure out how to keep the power on tomorrow...

“There are nights I cry myself to sleep,” said the reality star, who shares North, 9, Saint, 7, Chicago, 5, and Psalm, 4, with ex-husband Kanye West. (via @toofab) tmz.me/24xtjHR

@sur_rules Not really sure why either of these women want to be with him. He isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. And his Flock of Seagulls/porn 'stash is super creepy.

the girl is Satan #pumprules

@BertShowBert Oddly, when I lost weight once, and people were saying "You look great!" it made me feel like it confirmed I didn't look great before. I knew that was a me-problem though. Perhaps complimenting her on achieving her goal, even if she hasn't reached it yet...

A friend of mine told me she was trying to lose weight. Months later I can totally tell she's succeeding. Is it rude to comment to her that I can see a difference with the intent of encouraging her?