Leo Karoki

The mzungu sugar mummy found his ben 10 cheating, now she wants back his car, ni mbaya, hadi nyumba anaendea

@AndyjnrUmaru Noka

AKON ??????

“A moving man will surely meet his luck” must be the greatest quote from our generation.

When you intentionally stand out, you become a target for hostility. People silently dislike you not because you are arrogant but because you have refused to be submissive to their expectations. They want you to: • Stay humble but not too confident • Be ambitious but not too successful • Speak your mind, but not too boldly • Blend in but don't shine too brightly However, when you break these expectations, people become uneasy with you, they become hostile because you have opened their deep-rooted wounds. Your authenticity irritates the person who spends his life pretending. People don't hate who you are, they hate what they assume you represent in their heads. They might decide that you are selfish, when you are just independent, Or, you are manipulative when you are just observant, Or, you are arrogant when you are just focused. When people cannot read you, they project their fears onto you.

Reminder: In 1999, @ManUtd played 3 finals(including the league game) in the space of 10 days and won a treble. 10 days. Never let anyone forget that.

Maaad

Kwa kina ndoa si kurahisi😂 ndio huyu Rashid amejam live on TV. Kwani hana nguvu za kwa kina ndoa?😂

A group of thieves who stole alcohol worth in South Africa was caught and given a choice between drinking all the stolen liquor or having their hands cut off, and they chose to drink it.

@georgediano Mwejeje si mwejeje😂😂

There’s big silent money in Rift Valley and when it whispers, even traffic jams listen. Yesterday Ronnie & Terry tied the knot with golden rope and escorted it with G-Wagons. Karen Blixen Museum turned into a full-blown VIP headquarters. Bogani Road looked like a UN summit had relocated there. The convoy was pure Madness. G-Wagons everywhere like they were being issued for furiiii. The Uasin Gishu big boys pulled up looking like they accidentally drove out of a Forbes magazine cover. Now pale kwa buffet ndio mambo Ilikua mwejeje. The rich were not eating food, they were conducting marine research. Sea food you’ve only seen on NatGeo was casually chilling next to nyama choma. Prawns looking at you with sanpanku eyes. Everything was there,, barbecue, perfectly grilled nyama choma and food plated like it had a degree from Harvard. The rich Dressed simple but still looked flashy. No chaos, no shouting, no MC with kadunga moves. Just calm vibes, soft laughter, and people networking like LinkedIn had come to life. Even the alcohol bay area was still full at the end of the event. No bloggers, no TikTokers, no influencers onsite. Wote inje na hizo masimu zao za matakataka. No wonder @HonAllanChesang who's my boy never invited me for his Koito. Nilionea kwa mtandao like the rest of you poor pipoos🥹. The rich don’t announce, they exist quietly and trend accidentally. Then now enter the Walala Hoii Avengers. These are the ones who will first create a WhatsApp group Before love comes first. They’ll invite influencers, bloggers, TikTokers & basically anyone with a front camera and data bundles. The wedding becomes less about love and more about content creation with snacks. The Outfits is always the Nigerian vibes. Music ni Zobu Zobu at full blast while Money is Being sprayed like it’s a scene from a Nollywood movie nobody fully understands. Pale kwa buffet you’re told it’s self service, but there’s a security guard disguised as a caterer standing next to the sufuria with strict instructions that it's One piece of chicken per citizen. You find Chicken thighs cut into six pieces unashindwa kama ni kuku ama minced meat. You point at drumstick, they serve you imondoo. You point again, they add soup for confidence,, huwanga bad. Walala Hoiis are mixing food like it’s a science experiment. Hakuna kitu wahakulangi kwa buffet. You find Watermelon on top of a wet fried chicken & pilau next to mukimo. Photography is Total anarchy. Everyone becomes a content creator. People jumping in front of the actual photographer bcoz their followers need the photos more than the couple. When Cake time arrives, It turns into a survival game. People are packing slices like they’re preparing for famine. Unaskia this one is for my cousin who didn’t come. The Cousin lives in Kisumu but will somehow receive cake crumbs via faith. Ni urímu. I've come to realize that in Rift Valley, money is just there,, quiet, unbothered, moisturized, and minding its generational business. No noise, no pressure, no fundraising posters. Just vibes, wealth, and people who don’t need to prove anything. And for those ladies dreaming of marrying into wealth like Terry, let me land this plane gently. The rich don’t marry for potential, they marry for alignment. So as you’re ignoring that broke but genuine guy hoping for a miracle, just know somewhere, a rich family is also ignoring you with equal confidence,, chesaa! Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

Nairobi CBD: Last Sunday dawn 0300Hrs, outside Somer Club near Odeon Cinema area a bouncer (who's still at large) fatally assaulted Brian Mwendo who later succumbed to injuries at KNH. 9 employees + Manager of the club were arrested yesterday to help with investigation.

"Murkomen is an exitable, dangerous, childish, juvenile fella, who has instruments of violence and he will burn this country" - Rigathi Gachagua

When Messi, Argentina and FIFA did this to us in 2005 at the u20 World Cup. Gave him to free penalties and he scored both. My h@tred towards him multiply since then😡

The real Obi Wan Nairobi

🚨 Historical decision by Union Berlin as German club appoint Marie-Louise Eta as their head coach until June. Union lost at Heidenheim, sacked the head coach Steffen Baumgart and put Marie-Louise Eta in charge until the end of the season. Ets becomes the first female head coach in the history of men’s Bundesliga.

Those who stood by Baba Raila Amolo Odinga are known, they have names and history to back it up. The same is true for those who abandoned him at his greatest hour and profited from his misery. We thank Azimio TV for publishing this declassified video from the 2007 presidential elections campaign. In 2027, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Leo kanamba special kamenasa kunasa

Some of former President Moi’s speeches have emerged.

‘ Akaniambia Yes Daddy give me a concussion . Hapo ndio na Mimi nlijituma nikarudi nyuma kama senge nikauma iromo nikaweka nguvu yangu yote ya kuzaliwa. Hivi ndio nlijipata hapa ‘

My guy has been trying to sell his moti before the bank auctions it. So, kuna client wamekuja, viewed the car and asked to do a road test. Hivo ndio wameenda kama wamaengia storage yard and it hit us they are auctioneers, I have never felt so defeated in my life.

@leecfc10 Lamine Yamal...easy

Who's the king of trivela?