¯\_(ƙλŦ)_/¯

You can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse. For example in my purse I have: A flask of whiskey A money clip (not a wallet) A metal straw And pepper spray Which tells you I'm fucking crazy but at least I like turtles 🤷🏻‍♀️

"Don't underestimate the allure of darkness, even the purest hearts are drawn to it."

But I'm not good with directions And I hide behind my mouth I'm a pro at imperfections And I'm best friends with my doubt

I'm going to throw up.

When the constitution gave people the right to own guns, it also gave people the right to own people, so sometimes old ideas are dumb as shit. Fix it

I'm just a walking panic attack.

People who think Emmett Till being lynched in 1955 is ancient history should remember that 18 current members of Congress are older than him & the white woman Carolyn Bryant who got him lynched just *today* died—w/o accountability Its not ancient history—its contemporary reality

twitter blue is like paying to lower the basketball hoop and forcing everyone to watch you still miss

Sex before marriage is a sin, unless you do it doggy style as all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

Hard to overstate how much worse things are going to get in a country where the population is armed to the teeth then conditioned to live in a constant paranoid state of fear.

Showed one of my residents a picture of Dave today and she went "Holy CRIPE!" grabbed her chest and said "now THATS a good looking man" 😂😂😂

Started a brand new job and one girl told me that I'm such a good fit for the community and she happy I'm here (I could also hear her telling a resident that I'm one of the good nurses) AND several other workers were telling one of the managers how much they like me 🥹❤️

Every person in America should have to scroll through this article.

I don’t care what political party you belong to, 129 mass shootings in 84 days is a crisis.

"Its right there on the list! #2 GUNS which makes sense, that it's number two. Because if number one is "I believe I can say whatever the fuck I want" Number two definitely has to be "I should probably have a gun too""

I SAID TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME SAFE

When it rains, it fucking pours