Kelly

I spent 5 min. in the dark trying to plug in my phone. I’m embarrassed and now I feel like I owe some dudes from high school an apology.

My boyfriend surprised me with Easter treats, which included LEGO, chocolates, and seeds for my garden. I’ve never been spoiled before and I gotta say, it’s delightful ❤️💜🩷

It should be socially acceptable to whip bread ends at people you don’t like

@GinRumMe Is this a Mormon tweet?

A good soaking goes a long way.

You can’t motorboat personality, that’s all I’m saying.

🤣😂

Ranch growing up and breaking cycles of abuse as not to pass it down to my kid and having the strength to go no contact…..to the center stage!!!!

@joeybagovdonuts Ranch growing up and breaking cycles of abuse as not to pass it down to my kid and having the strength to go no contact…..to the center stage!!!!

Italian...everything

@GinRumMe No snacks. Just a bucket to barf in.

What kind of snacks y’all got ready for the presidential address?

When delivering to an apartment complex, you’d think that building 1 would be the first building, but you’d be fuckin wrong.

I would never give a mouse a cookie. I’d give it a Coors Banquet and a cigarette

@ZiadFazel 😂😂😂😂

@Kelly__le His account was deleted for inactivity and lack of followers.

I sure hope @RobSchneider blocks me again. I miss those days.

@difficultpatty That’s gonna throw everything off!

Looks like it's time to refill my desk Ibuprofen with my car Ibuprofen.

When I tell my son to get me another beer and he says "Why not 2?" instead of "Dad it's 8am on a Tuesday"

@dadmann_walking Oh shit. You and @DaddyJew stay away from each other. 😂

I'm allergic to bullshit

@Kelly__le Why. Where was he going that was so unpleasant?

I’ve been back on twitter for less than 12 hours & it’s recommending I follow Ed Sheeran & I’m already ready to leave.

@gavagai70 😂😂😂😂

@Kelly__le Whenever I’m fumbling with a plug or something like that I always mutter, “Christ, it’s like prom night all over again!”

I spent 5 min. in the dark trying to plug in my phone. I’m embarrassed and now I feel like I owe some dudes from high school an apology.