sgt monk

@johnwoodyharr My gramps used to daily the citizen on the right… pour one out and wear it proudly for me

Watch collection doxx for 250 followers. Yes the old man has bought most of these for me #blessed

Hitler’s concept sketches for the Nazi logo

that nigga created a new SLUR for asian people and he soft launched it on his fuckin wife. may be the wildest thing that happened this year so far.

Just witnessed a little person get out of a Miata I’m crying 😭

Nobody believes me and I don't care. I was doing seventy-two on I-84 outside Boise, sunroof wide open, singing along to Fleetwood Mac. Something heavy and wet slapped me across the shoulder and landed in my passenger seat. A fourteen-inch rainbow trout. Still alive. Flopping everywhere. I looked up through the sunroof and saw a bald eagle circling, like it was debating whether to come get it back. My dashcam caught the whole thing the shadow, the drop, me screaming. Fish and Game verified the footage. The eagle had lost its grip mid-flight. I still have the trout mounted on my wall. Cost me 90 bucks at the taxidermist. Best fish I never caught. Credit: Rayyan

@IndianaRizzler It’s even scarier when you realize each one averages out to about $700k a pop because of government waste

I’m genuinely so scared of these things

when you finally do your laundry and all your top-tiers clothes are back

@FrazierKay What the actual hell 😭 u might be the goat

I JUST TURNED $0.50 TO $120,849 GIVING $$$ AWAY IN THE REPLIES LOL

“Hey guys, since we’re all so fat I think we should walk slow as fuck and take up the stairway so that everyone has to wait for us”

@jwegener beta

My wife and I were in the SAME place at the SAME time, 4 years before we ever met🤯🤯🤯 I built an app that scans your photo library to reveal every time you crossed paths with someone -- before you ever met! Reply "beta" if you'd like to try it!

Post-workout blizzard in da chipotle line #expand

@thegrayfruit Electronics got over their beef with magnets and laundry got over its beef with differing colors. What the hell is next. Are microwaves gonna get over their beef with metal and my grandchildren are gonna call me a chud for freaking out over them leaving a fork in their dinner?

Trump has been plotting this shit ever since he renamed it the Gulf of America… damn #chess

No hay película filtrada en Internet

@LucidEternalOne @xdownloaderbot

Still one of the best things we ever did was give the French Snapchat 🤣

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS

@cocotresco This shit does NOT work btw… do weighted sit ups and ab roller

Doing the first one when the gym is packed has me feeling pathetic and degraded

NBA script: Lakers beat the Celtics in 6 in the finals and Bron retires with ring 5

You’ll be having a great day and then BAM some retard in front of you stops at a yellow light when both of you could’ve made it