Kyle Ryan Kiper

Tiger Woods has now officially secured his position on my personal Mount Rushmore of terrible drivers alongside SpongeBob, Mr. Bean, and Toonces. Legendary.

BRONX,NY **3RD ALARM** REPORTED EXPLOSION AND FIRE AT THE FIRE STATION - ALL MEMBERS HAVE BEEN ACCOUNTED FOR #BREAKING

@landofthe80s Forever changing how an entire generation says the word, “Vito!”

On this date in 1976, “I’m Just a Bill” first hit the airwaves on Schoolhouse Rock!. #70s #nostalgia

I say it 100% of the time! Thanks Mom. Love you.

@ZubyMusic That’s a great worldview, right there!

If people shared and amplified the stuff they like MORE than they shared and amplified the stuff they dislike, the world would look very different. (and so would social media)

My dad is driving to DC for the first time since my mom died in Jan and he hit a deer. He called @AAA_Travel for help and a tow & they asked to speak to my mother. He informed them she just died & they said he can’t use the policy then & left a 70 year old grieving man stranded

It’s because of the French! They’re the ones that spelled Arkansas, because the French had explored there. So they had to put a S at the end of it, but they didn’t pronounce the s. By the time Kansas got a name, these were English and German people so they pronounce the S. So, as with most things all screwy, it’s because of the damn French! Semper Fi!

I’ve lived 77 years and still don’t know why Kansas is pronounced the way it is! But, Arkansas is pronounced entirely different!

My wife and I hate when we go to Walmart and they don't have what we need. Because, then we gotta go home, change out of our pj’s and take a shower so we can go to Target.

Amazonesia. Not remembering what's in the package that just arrived even though you only ordered it for yourself yesterday.

Carrick. Fairland Street. Caller claims that two woman are attempting to place a hex on him by channeling Obi-Wan Kenobi. Caller wants to talk to PD about options.

⚾️ Play Ball! #OpeningDay

Today in 1989, you watched the first 55 minutes of The Price is Right while praying for a boat or hot tub in the Showcase.

The Cadets from Old Dominion University who stopped an active shooter, received 8 Meritorious Service Medals. Two of them received Purple Hearts…from the Sergeant Major of the Army and the Secretary of the Army. Absolutely amazing and well deserved.

THE STARS ARE HEADING TO THE POSTSEASON 🌟 The @DallasStars are heading to the #StanleyCup Playoffs for the fifth straight season! Presented by @PolymarketSport

@StarsCountdown Neither, I maintain Attention.

During “O say does that Star-Spangled Banner yet wave,” do you yell “Star” or “Stars?”

TSA is largely funded by a tax on every ticket. It adds $5.60 to every one-way ticket & $11.20 to roundtrips. Everyone in line right now is already paying the TSA fee, even for free reward travel. The government has previously diverted that money to the Treasury. Pay the agents.

I just canceled a business trip because, looking at 3 hour TSA wait times here in Atlanta, I seem to live in a country that no longer has the political will to keep civil aviation running. I don't blame TSA agents at all. (No pay in weeks!) But talk about a broken government.

There’s too many fucking tv shows. Maybe we need to go back to three channels for a while. At least we’d have something to talk about other than politics again.

So we transferred from Tampa a long time ago, but we still try to keep up with the Lightning. I asked tonight and it said to pull up the station called the bone. These announcers suck! It’s like they brought them in from some foreign country and they don’t even care about the team. Calgary scored in the 2nd, And this guy said that’s a killer goal. No it’s not, there’s a whole period to go. Who are these fruit loops? What happened to the announcers in the intermission guys?