Kyle Martini

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Kyle Martini

Kyle Martini

@KyleMartini

The Kraken. King of Spiders. Gate Keeper. Fish Monger. The Sock King. Yugioh Talent. Fate Holder. Vibe Sensei. Mean Green Bean Machine. Sangheili. Craron.

Katılım Kasım 2013
377 Takip Edilen258 Takipçiler
Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
"I wish someone would dunk their spud in my chocolate that way"
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
2 dudes talking about "gym wannabees" My guy, we are in a planet fitness
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
@Life_Wit_Derek Is the adult male experience just being in constant anxiety as to the whereabouts of your can-opener?
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Derek Harper
Derek Harper@Life_Wit_Derek·
@KyleMartini My dad once called me at drama practice to ask if I had the can opener. I think of this often
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
This is the 4th time that my brother has thrown our can opener into the trash can
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
When my brother starts pacing i know im about to get lectured HARD about a random subject. Today's was "the rise and fall of the YouTube subscription". And while dumb in its conception, the experience did lend itself a "Stop touching my box, Youtube". So that was neat.
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
"Bro, they got those like office amenities or whatever, like the maternity station if you gotta pump your shit or whatever. But like, where my crack smoking station. Let me smoke my crack"
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
"So what do your parents do?" Honestly, whatever the fuck they want to do
Kyle Martini tweet mediaKyle Martini tweet media
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
"My man is daydreaming about rootbeer" "Nah bro im nightdreaming"
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
"Call me a sneaky goblin the way im trynna be in that box"
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
Wish I could turn my brain off. And no I dont mean in a cutesy puzzle with a scented candle type of way. I mean in a .45 crunchatize me, Captain kinda way
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
Whatever happened on September 4...I was NOT well
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
I FORGOT MY HEADPHONES FOR WORK TODAY
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
Im in a toxic relationship with my taste in music
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
Elizabeth Swan and Will Turner getting married on the Black Pearl is the hottest thing any movie has ever done.
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Kyle Martini
Kyle Martini@KyleMartini·
The most fascinating spelling of my name.
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